What is the soul?

(My Nannie and I on my communion day)

Even before these last two weeks that brought the death

of my Nannie and Mr. Charles,

I had been thinking a lot about death.

It had not been an obsession but every once in a while,

when alone with my thoughts, 

it was death that I thought about.

I have never before been afraid of death.

I think it has something to do with being a little 5 year old girl

who faced death, believed she used to really talk to the Big Man

and He told her she wouldn't die yet.

Yes, it sounds weird, but back then,

as a little girl, me and the Big Man were tight.

Since that time I have never been afraid of that aspect of death.

Yet, lately I had found myself wondering.

I would get periods of thinking about it and wanting

to cry with the thought of dying and leaving my family.

Leaving the visible things that I know, for a fact, are true.

This morning I wake up early to watch OWN channel

to see Oprah's soul series.

this morning one of my favorites are on.

GARY ZUKAV

Oprah asks him,

"What happens when we die?"

He answers without a doubt:

"We return home."

and he goes into detail about this, which I believe

in fully, the soul.

He explains we will all experience our soul when our

personality dies. That when we go home we will experience

all the things that we did in this life were important and

we will see all we did on Earth and how it impacted 

our and others life on Earth.

"What is the soul?"

Oprah then asks.

"It is the part of us that existed before us

and will exist long after we are gone, forever."

I choose to believe all of this, as it gives me comfort.

The thought of nothing after, of being buried and then nothing,

scares me. I cannot live a life believing this.

No one should as it is so sad, so lonely.

Some may say, it all just doesn't make sense,

how can you believe in something that cannot be proven?

I say,

"I rather spend my whole life believing and die to find

out I was wrong than to live not believing to find

out it was all true"

I know I have a soul. I know it is bigger than me and

my personality. I know it leads me sometimes in a way

that doesn't make sense at the time and days or sometimes

years later, it all makes sense.

To know that when I die, all those things will be revealed to me

is comfort. To know that no matter where I go in this life or

the life after, My soul will not change and will follow me everywhere.

It is as real to me as the breath I take.

Happy Soul Sunday!