just can't stop the mind from thinking...

I, like probably most of us, cannot stop thinking about

the massacre of Connecticut. One minute I am sad, then angry,

then have the desire to do nothing but read the stories of the tragedy.

Last night, as I lay in bed, I thought of all the survivors, all 

the little children whose lives are forever altered by this.

I remembered a time when I was 10 and was at a friend,

Theresa Terrebonne's camp out.

After an evening full of beauty pageant play, laughing and singing,

we all finally laid down to sleep after her dad had put out our 

campfire. I wore glasses then and was blind without them.

I laid them on the side of my sleeping bag and slept.

Sometimes during the early morning hours, we were awakened

to fire. the home across the street from where our tent was had

caught on fire. The home belonged to a fellow classmate of ours

but thankfully the home was empty.

As I awakened to all my friends screaming and trying to get out 

of the tent, I could not find my glasses and believed that it

was our tent on fire from the camp fire we had the night before.

The terror I felt was one I can still evoke when speaking of it.

I, for a few minutes, thought we were all to die.

Once I realized we were safe, and Theresa's dad came to 

calm us all down, we watched as the fire fighters tried

to put out the fire to no avail, the home burnt to the ground.

I could not stop thinking of my classmate and how 

they no longer had a home or anything they loved

like their toys, beds. It made an impact on my in a negative way.

My dad was called to come pick me up because all I wanted was

to be with my momma and daddy.

For the rest of that morning, I slept between my parents.

for the next three nights, not only did I have to sleep with my sister, C

but I convinced her to sleep with the lights on.

She was a good sister, even though she told me this was ridiculous,

she left the light on and slept with me in my room.

My reason for this story?

I think of the impact on these surviving children as well as 

their families. This shooter did not just take the lives

of 27 people but he has altered the innocence of many children

who from now on will never be the same.

He has altered the lives of families.

I remain mostly angry today as I want him to be alive.

Death was too easy, so many families will never have the answers

they would need to try and heal.

I hate this... and I didn't even know them,

can't even imagine what that sleepy little town is feeling.