Today, need to vent.
Not a good day.
Letting the monster of pain that lives inside of me
out today.
I try, most days to focus on the positive
and am pretty good at it.
Most days are good and I think,
"I can't wait until August to go back to work"
Then there is a night like last night,
a morning like this morning and my mind thinks,
"How in the world can I function on a day like today?"
Pain, pain, pain.... why is there such a thing?
Why does it exists?
How can there be days that I think it is behind me,
this surgery has been a success and I am all better.
Then a day like today to knock me back into last year...
I know, I Know what some will say,
"oh, be glad for the good days..."
"It could be worse"
Ugh but sometimes, sometimes you just want to
fuss and complain and say,
"This is not how I saw my life, how I want to live"
It is only for a short time.
It helps me to better focus on the future when I
can whine for a little while.
So, seems as though today will be a day laying around.
Always faced with the decision as to whether I
just do nothing and manage the pain with no medications
or just taking the medications that ease the pain
only to mentally play the game that I have to take a narcotic.
Yes, today, I am feeling sorry for myself.
I will get over it, give me a day.
Today I give myself permission to be upset
so that tomorrow I can knock myself in the butt and
tell myself to stop the whining.
Tell myself,
"Be glad for the good days,"
"It could be so much worse..."
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