Hope is with me again!

I made it to to Dr. Cowen's office on Thursday.

He is a chronic pain doctor who I have seen in the past.

He and Dr. Pitre consult often in regards

to how to treat my pain.

It makes me feel more comfortable to know

that two doctors are managing my pain

as I am always so fearful of addiction

to these medications.

It never seems to sink in when a doctor tells

me that people who worry about addiction are

not those who have addiction problems.

So after much thought, fears and painful days and nights

I am willing to finally, once again listen to the experts

and get back on the Duragesic patches that I have been so

afraid of in the past. Dr. Cowen reminds

me that he and Dr. Pitre will always be honest with me

and let me know if I am not handling this pain management

properly. He reminded me that I have a legitimate problem

and will need help with pain for the rest of my life.

He told me the one thing that I guess I needed to hear

once again, that made me want to cry right there in his office.

He looked me right in the eye and said,

"Lilly, you need to stop feeling quilty about needing these medications"

So, on that very afternoon I put on a patch and within 8 hours

my pain went from an 8 on the pain scale to a 4.

By the next morning my pain was a 2 and believe me, I can

live with a 2!

This morning I would say the pain is a 3 and the initial side effects

of the patch, dizziness, nausea, and feeling drunk seem to

be gone and I can tell you, I feel like getting out today.

I have not had this hopeful feeling for some time.

I can't drive again until tomorrow so one of

my besties, Laurie and the girls will pick me

up this afternoon to go to the movies.

I have a desire to get in my scraproom and play

and I have not felt like that in a long time

I am looking forward to HOBL and I's

vacation that will begin on Christmas day

as we are heading to Tennessee for a week,

a cabin in the mountains.

Life is hopeful again.

Thanks to all who have checked in with me

or have been praying for me to have better days.

Love to all,

and big, wet, aunt Jeannie kisses!!!