Gypsy baby celebrates a birthday

Twenty three years ago, at this time, 

I was one hour past having this precious gypsy baby.

It was about this time when labor and delivery was done

and they brought her to me in my room after spending an

hour in the incubator.

For whatever reason, HOBL was not in the room at that minute.

I held her, I smelled her, I cried.

Part of that was because of the huge hormonal changes in your body

that happens but the biggest part was because I had never

held a more perfect specimen of a darling little girl before like

gypsy baby was.

We named her Jesica Rae' Riera

to be called Jesi by most for the rest of her life.

That morning, I realized that myself and this girl would 

do those things together that Baby boy just would never enjoy.

She was a mini-me, finally the one to look like me instead

of the splitting image of his father as baby boy was.

From the very beginning she was head strong,

knew what she wanted and believed if you didn't like her,

there was definitely something wrong with you.

Even as a grown woman, very eclectic, walking a path

that is unseen as of yet, she remains one of my most prized possessions.

It is still memories of her childhood that come to mind when I look 

at her as a woman.

Last week she spoke of a new tattoo she wanted,

going down the side of her chest.

"NOOOOOO" I begged.

She smirked and laughed and I knew what that meant.

Same as it has always meant, it does not matter what I think or want,

if she wants to do it, she will.

Yet, it is for me to say, it is not so much that I want to control her,

Lord knows, that was never easy,

or that I am against tattoo's in any way, except that they aren't for me.

It has to do with no matter how big she gets,

she is still my perfect little baby girl.

It is still the curly headed blonde cutie at three years old that I see.

The one that went up to a woman in the Dollar Store to

fling her hair and say,

"I am beautiful, everybody knows it"

...and she is, she is beautiful just the way she is,

and I would prefer her to stay beautiful just the way she is.

Will I love her less, think less of her for doing whatever it is she does?

Nope. 

Will I be the one in 10 years if she regrets it to say, "I told you so"

Nope.

I will not because I was put on this Earth to love her, to be her Momma,

to accept her as she is, where she is, all the time.

It's not always easy with a baby like gypsy baby.

As she gets older, I see her less.

I knew this would happen as I raised her.

She is, like I call her, a gypsy.

She will live and experience her life different from most

and her happiness will always be achieved different from those things

that I searched for and made me happy at her age.

So, to my baby girl:

I, my dear, love you in a way that I pray one day you can experience.

There is no one like you and no one can ever take your place.

I will always be your "Gemini Cricket"

always be the one who says aloud the other side and then

accept whatever you choose to do with your life.

I will love you unconditionally until the day I no longer breathe.

Out of all the people I ever travel or shop with, you will always be my favorite.

I will always love who you love and be there

if the heart breaks and only a momma can help to heal.

I am proud, even when I am exasperated with you,

that you choose to live your life different from most.

I am proud that at your age, you are independent financially

and that money is not that important to you.

I will always be here to remind you that you are beautiful

if you ever forget. 

I will always harass you to live a healthy life no matter how old you are.

I will always pray that the God you struggle with protects you

from all those bad and harmful things in this world.

I will always hug you and kiss you when I see you, always

rub your back as I do it because I know you love that.

Most importantly, I will always, always

be your Momma.

Happy Birthday my dear Gypsy Baby!

Your life is not over, in many ways, it has just begun.