As I sat with Mom today at the eye doctor, I once again realized just how lucky I am to still have a momma in my life. I was born when she was 43 years old, just two years younger than what I am now. At 88 years old her body is beginning to fail her and I know within the next few years we will probably loose her. Today the eye doctor tells us that she has macular degeneration, basically her eyes have seen better days and that there is nothing that can be done for it.I feel choked up when he tells us, not because this changes anything for her or us, but I look at her sitting in the chair and I realize just how vulnerable her old little body has become. How dependent she is on all of us kids and always, always so happy. Dementia is not always a bad thing and sometimes I wish I could forget the fact that one day she will not be here. I have so many memories of this wonderful woman, many times she has driven me crazy, many more times has made me laugh, sometimes even cry. She has mostly been a good momma.
I now call her mumsie or Mother Hubbard and mean that in such a loving way. Sometimes I miss having a Mom I can call for help, advice, etc. that mom is gone now. Roles have reversed and she now needs her kids to do the important things for her. None of us kids mind doing for her, she has been a good mom. I love her!
Hugs to you! I went through this with my Grandma and its so hard to see them fading away. One thing for sure the wonderful memories will live with us forever.
ReplyDeleteI can't help but to post my email to my siblings after Lil gave us the news on Mom's Eye Doctor Appointment from yesterday, so here it is:
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the great update, Lil. Someone asked me how Mom was doing the other day and all I could say was, "Mom is doing so well...I love my Mom so much right now. I've always loved her because she's my Mom, but I really, really love her right now more than ever before." I've been thinking and evaluating about why I feel this way and in my heart, I truly believe it's because my love for her now is more of a child's love...like, I love her as though she was my child instead of my Mother. Although I don't spend a lot of time with her, I so look forward to Mondays, picking her up for Bingo, WINNING Bingo (;-), and forgetting to drop her off and having to turn around (yes, it's true, each and every week, I literally pass up her house and have to turn around!! If you think that's something, a couple of weeks ago, I was SO sure that I was gonna pass her up that I turned around BEFORE I got to her so then I had to turn around AGAIN and finally get her home. Each and every Monday, we laugh about this!! Yes, Rosie, I still have "Vera" moments, at least once a week, anyway...LOL). I even look forward to see what she's wearing because she's so darn cute and she has that little dance she does when she's excited..too cute. I do, I love her more now than I have in my whole entire life. When I see her, I have to stop myself from squeezing her and the smile on her face when she sees me is so very heart warming. What a wonderful lady we have for a Mother!!
Have a great weekend, Siblings, and thanks again, Lil, for keeping us on track with her health!!
Love,
Your Sister,
C
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ReplyDeleteYou and Mom look so pretty next to each other. In case I have never said this to you before. I really appreciate the way you keep us updated with Mom's medical conditions. We are soooooo really lucky to have you, a nurse, a baby sister, a youngest child to Mom and a heart of Gold. Don't tell the rest, but I Love you differently that them. Not more, just diffrent???? Don't know how to explain that one. but don't tell them, you know how jealous they get about you, the spoiled one!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you from the bottom of my heart.
Sincerely,
Rosie
Lil, I just want you to know that you have taken awesome care of Mommie for years. If you need us,we are here. Mommie is the heart of our family and you keep that heart beating!
ReplyDeleteThat's an Awesome saying, Lisa!! I think you should write commercials..I can see it now:
ReplyDeleteInstead of "Chevrolet...the Heartbeat of America", it can be...
"Lilly...the Heartbeat of Mommie"...I like it!!
Love your heart, Lis!!
C