what's lil giving on thanksgiving?

Well all I am thankful for, of course!

The holidays this year are different for me.

Having one child married living over an hour away

and a family who lives an hour the other way has me

torn on exactly what to do over the holidays.

Ronnie being in Alaska, well it just finds

my immediate family separated.

Because the car is not exactly fun for me

I dread sometimes knowing I have to get in it

and make the trip to visit those whom I love.

It wasn't until yesterday morning that I made

my final decision on what exactly I would do

but as usual, once I make my decision it is pretty final.

I called Rod and texted Kd to say Jesi and I was coming

over to have supper with them.

Kd had worked so I planned to leave in time to get

there about an hour before she got home,

go eat and back in the car to get home.

Oh, how thankful I am on this Thanksgiving day that I did.

Sometimes inside of myself, I want to believe

it's not such a big deal if I miss a holiday with my

children, why after all they are big kids now...

Jesi and I get there and there is so much for Roddie to

share with us. There is the brand new truck he

just bought him that is amazingly beautiful!

Rod doesn't show excitement often anymore

but this he is happy about,

showing Jes and I all the features in the truck

and offering to drive to Fat Daddy's so we can

ride in his new wheels.

He saved me some poo-doo breast wrapped in bacon

stuffed with cheese and Jalapenos that he

cooked for Kd the day before.

Those things were amazing and I devoured them!

He fills me in on all his hunting adventures and there is one

moment, he bends down to get something and he

is looking up at me over the kitchen counter,

he is telling me something but I am just staring at

him as I get a flashback of him as a little boy

saying, "Mom, I need some loving"

I am amazed that this man once lived in my body...

sometimes these thoughts are just surreal.

Kd comes in and she is so tired but she puts on her

happy face and we go to Fat Daddy's

where the poor-boys are amazing

and the fried portabello mushrooms are to die for.

As we always do when Jesi and Roddie are together,

we reminisce of old times.

I watch Baby Girl remember things with her

photographic memory and spill out stories

that Rod and I have forgotten until she mentions them.

Kd is laughing so hard she is crying and

Rod and Jesi are laughing at their memories.

Again, for a little while I am amazed that

these two grown children belonged to me at one time.

I am transported back to the times they are

speaking of, I am their Mother, I was there,

I remember and I am proud.

They are beautiful in looks, they are beautiful in personality

and they came from me and the only man

I ever loved, their Daddy.

I look over at Kd and can't remember her not

being there, so thankful that my son

found this wonderful woman to share his life with.

I am overwhelmed with love for these three young adults.

Honored that I am still important enough

in their lives that they still enjoy time with me.

My heart is full, there is nothing I want.

So today I head down-the-bayou to spend time

with my Mumsie and family that I grew up with myself.

Veronica, as always, comes through for us who make

the trip down there. We can always depend on her

for something on the holidays.

I long for her house most holidays just because it has

always been her house I spent holidays at as my

children grew up.

After Mom sold the family home to C and Ted

Veronica's home became the gathering place.

Except for Xmas eve when we would meet

at C's for that holiday.

Every Sunday when my kids were growing, she would

cook and we would gather.

Sometimes we played board games,

sometimes we just gossiped

but being together was the most important.

Always her house and I still want it.

I want it and the people who meet there,

I want my Mumsie there with me.

I want to see my nieces and nephews and their offspring.

So I end this long-winded blog

by adding a prayer that C taught me when I was

little, one she made up and I said every night while

growing up just because, at the time, it covered everyone:

GOD BLESS MY MOMMA AND DADDY

SISTERS, BROTHERS, NIECES, NEPHEWS,

AUNTS, UNCLES, COUSINS, FRIENDS,

THOSE WHO I LIKE AND

THOSE WHO I DISLIKE

AMEN

Of course, these days I have to add

husband, children...

but the prayer today is still appropriate:

Happy Thanksgiving to all

Don't forget to journal,

What are you thankful for?