Not written for sympathy
just written because if I am going to keep
the blog honest then I must share the facts.
I am very discouraged about now
with these medical issues better known
as my chronic back pain.
Fear of the unknown is what I am worried
about right now and no amount of
positive thinking and praying seems to be
helping me the last few days.
I got through the winter with the optimism
that the winter was what was causing me
to be struggling so much.
Now with the warmer weather here and
still struggling with doing the things that I love
well, I am racked with fear right about now.
I will find my way and I will make the best
of whatever the future has in store for me
but for today, I am giving myself permission
to just accept this right now but still
be hoping that the warmer weather will get me moving.
I am not one who likes to waste any time
in my life and coming home from work to lie here
and watch TV is not what I want to do for the
rest of my life.
Just makes me realize that many times we think
when we hear of a little child beating the odds
of cancer all their troubles are over.
Yet I know from much studying, reading,
and meeting doctors who study the children
who are now adults that even though
we are all so happy we beat the odds
and none of us are bitter about the fact
that we are survivors, most of us struggle
with the effects of the treatments that saved our lives.
So, like I said, I will find my way
but to blog here always all hunky-dory and
slappy happy would not be the honesty you
expect from Auntie Lil.
Please no sympathy, just prayers
that God will help me to find my way
I know I will, just today may not be the day.
Seems to me I'm your man today! Why you ask? You know darn good and well there ain't an ounce of sympathy oozing from these fingers onto this keyboard. What you need is a list... a list of things that could be worse ........... chronic diahrea ..... hobl unemployed .................. baby boy moving next door unemployed ............. rotten teeth ....... Tiger Woods and David Vitter moving in next door and becoming best freinds with unemployed baby boy and hobl .......... waking up realizing you're paralyzed, sitting in your kitchen and unemployed hobl is wiping the floor where your wheel chair passed then feeds you with a siringe then in walks unemployed baby boy to spend the day with his unemployed dad along with their two new best freinds Tiger Woods and David Vitter who are both constantly making passes at baby girl who is actually pregnant and is wife number 4 of a mormon.
ReplyDeleteSo ... still want to gripe about your paved highway that you're paving (BECAUSE I GOT MORE IF YOU NEED IT)?
well anonymous, you are right and on most days I can be thankful that I don't live these re-enactments and most especially that I am not fighting Lou Gehrig's like one of my very bestest friends but sometimes when You can't drag your arse outta bed to go do the job you love to do and have to take pain medications that you can't stand to take and are scared to death of the decisions you will have to make for your future well, it's just not a good day.
ReplyDeleteHowever, hope in sight, just made a call to Thibodaux spine center a new group of doctors who work on the holistic approach to back pain and they will help me I just know it...
Thanks bfob for trying to put me back on the cement truck of paving my road. Soon I will be again in the drivers seat but today, I called in sick. Love ya!
oh and I do have chronic diarrhea, only it's of the mouth...
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment on my blog Lilly. I certainly hope you can get some help for the pain. My grandma had chronic back pain and in her senior years had to have surgery to split two fused vertebrae. It relieved some pain but she never was able to really walk quite right, which caused other problems for her. You have my prayers for a speedy recovery.
ReplyDeleteAs I dressed for work this morning, Lil and I texted back and forth about how she is feeling. I felt guilty about feeling so good these past few days knowing that she did not. I tried to cheer her up and give her encouragement as well, Anon, but it's just not her day today. As I finished dressing, it came time to "accessorize" and what I wore today was my very special cross chain which is worn on very few and rare occassions. I wore it today with so many prayers to help Lil find relief. It has been my constant reminder that one of my sisters and best friends is suffering and looking for anything to balance the things she loves with the way she feels and struggling to know what she needs to do as opposed to what she wants to do. I'm sure that God heard me and your aid is on it's way.
ReplyDeleteChin up Baby Sister, we're all with you!!
Love you,
C
Hmmmm how to put this - having lived with chronic pain now for over a dozen years, you kinda sorta don't really get used to it - but you do. Some days are better than others - most are just really ok... you can get through without being too cranky. And there is always the hope that there will be the discovery of some kind of cure or "improvement" in the future for what "ails" us! And - Rosemary - the herb - fresh stalks in an old thick sock (or 2)- in a hot bath while you soak eases some aches and relaxes you, too. Grow some in your yard - it grows really well down here!!!!
ReplyDeleteOh my little sister,J'm so sorry you have so much pain,How can I help you, Just give me something to do for you, I remember when I was in the hospital,You washed my hair, I felt the love YOU had for me, I want to give that feeling back to you, My prayers always worked, So I'll pray double hard for you, GOD BE with you LOVE BIG SISTER MONE
ReplyDelete