WHEN GRANDMA GOES TO COURT

My friend, Susan B. at work saves

me articles that she thinks I would like

because we are both lovers of words and books.

She gave me this one someone sent her via email

and whether it is true or not, it made me el oh el

so I share it with you all today:

Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a

question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney

called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly

woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,

"Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

"Why yes" she answered.

"I have known you since you were a boy, and frankly

you have been a disappointment to me.

You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you

manipulate people and talk about them behind

their backs. You think you are a big shot when you

haven't the brains to realize you will never amount

to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.

Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what to do,

he pointed across the room and asked,

"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known

Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.

He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.

He can't build a normal relationship with anyone,

and his law practice is one of the worst in the state.

Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three

different women. One of them was your wife.

Yes, I know him."

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench

and, in a very quiet voice, said,

"If either you idiots asks her if she knows me,

I will send both of you to the electric chair."

Make it a good Friday

and keep your words honest...