....AND SO TODAY, I BLOG...

THERE IS ONLY ONE REAL DEPRIVATION...

AND THAT IS NOT TO BE ABLE TO

GIVE ONE'S GIFTS TO THOSE ONE LOVES MOST.

-May Sarton_

So what have I been doing?

Puttering, I imagine.

Reading, healing, journaling, scrapping.

thinking.... thinking....thinking...

and today I blog.

I had been at crossroads.

Thinking a lot about my life and those I love.

Is sharing my life with so many a good thing?

I have decided that sometimes when my diarrhea of the mouth

takes over I may need to sometimes take a good dose of

Kaopectate. I do not want to become a person

who is looked at as someone who only cares or focuses

on herself, a narcissist....

because that is so far from who I am.

I have thought a lot about this.

Although I don't agree with the way this was brought

to my attention, I, like I always do, have to look at it.

I have come to believe that there is a time and place

that it is okay to speak of myself and there is a time

and place that I should take a step back.

I never want those two things to become clouded in my mind.

So I took a few days off to look at this.

I have come to this conclusion.

There is much I will not and cannot change of myself.

I cannot change the core of who I am.

I am happy, loud, talkative and like to have a good time.

I am a touchy-feely type of person and to change

those things about myself would have to be like

waking up one morning and not being Lilly.

If I am condemned for this because of embarrassment

of others so be it, I cannot change who I am meant to be.

Yet, there are times that I go on too much about myself.

Although in my mind, my intentions are clear,

in certain circumstances it may not look like that.

NARCISSISM-personality trait of egotism, vanity, conceit

or simple selfishness applied to a social group.

I do not want to become that.

So back to the topic.

What I have come to decide that when speaking on my

blog I can do and say as I please as long as I get permission

so as not to offend those who I blog about.

I thought of giving it up but I can't.

Because as my open quote says,

It would be a deprivation not to share my life with others.

I have learned that there is a time and place for everything

and here on my blog is the place that I can do that.

I have so much optimism, love, thoughts that I

cannot just bottle up. It is who I am,

part of why many love me, why I love myself.

So, in social situations, unless I am hired or invited

to do motivational speaking,

I will work hard not to give others the impression

that I care only of myself because that is not what I want.

I don't want the definition of narcissism labeled to my life.

My life, although a miracle in itself, has places it is to

be shared. On my blog is where I can do this.

It is a gift- the way of my words, to be given not to hoard.

Here people can choose to read or choose not to.

So the blog goes on, beginning today.

It may not be everyday

because if it is not to mean anything then it is just

hogwash.

(sorry Faye, there will be days you may have

to go to the bathroom before reading the blog)

I have a true gift of writing, of thoughts that must

be shared with the world. To keep these things

inside of myself would be to try and change the

core of what my life has taught me.

There is a time and place for everything.

Here is my space.

Good morning, sunshine....

Welcome back, auntie lil!