Finding my ground once again

4th day home and I feel like I am gaining ground

on this life of mines once again.

Yet, I have these long standing quilt feelings about

calling in sick but feeling well.

Today I feel so much better and my old mind

that I have worked with for my whole life says

if you feel good, you should get dressed and march into work.

Changing the mind set to believe, feel and know

that the reason I am well is because I have used the

last 4 days to regroup myself and move at my own speed.

A speed that just does not agree with me and my work ethics.

If I cannot give 150% on the work front then

I feel bad about earning a pay check.

It is why probably that only 4 months after

school starting, all my work is done for the year.

Changing a mind set after having that mind set

for my whole life is the hardest part of accepting

this whole chronic pain issue.

So, today, I will work on accepting that I should not

feel quilty for not working if I am having a better day.

To know that the reason it is a good day is because I am not

pushing myself to work.

I will today, work on eating healthy instead of the

emotional eating I have been doing lately.

I will try to walk again today, like I did yesterday.

I will work on not feeling quilty for a good day

and enjoy the day for what it is.

Tomorrow, the baby boy and the bean are coming sleep.

I can hardly wait for that!!!!