napping

I am not sure why I am upset with myself when I take naps

in the afternoons. Sometimes it is out of boredom

and many times when I get up I don't feel like doing anything.

I feel guilty for having wasted this time.

I love to read and after lunch you can find me heading to my

bed to read but then I fall asleep....

So today I was thinking, why can't I forgive myself for napping?

I was trying to figure out why naps are so prominent in my life.

It brought me back to memories of my little girl years.

My Daddy took a nap every day.

Every day!

Remember he was 45 when I was born and retired by the time

I was three due to medical issues.

So he was my main caregiver since my Mumsie worked at Randolph's.

I loved nap time growing up.

I can't ever remembering fussing about the time.

I remember that I would rather spend time in that window-unit cooled room

than spent playing with friends.

I was spoiled so bad that there are many times

I preferred being with my parents than my friends.

I was never forced to nap but I had a mattress on Dad's bedroom floor

and I was expected to be in the room with him while he napped.

I never complained, I loved that time in there with him.

Sometimes I cuddled up with him and slept.

The comfort I got from him there I truly believe is

one of the reasons that I have so much confidence

and so much self-esteem.

It saddens me to think that there are some children who

are sexually abused by their parents and that

napping with their parent means bad, negative things.

For me, I gained so much of who I am from the simple time

I spent with my Daddy.

There were days I didn't want to sleep and he never made me.

I would play on my mattress for hours.

I had paperdolls which I loved and I would act out and play

with those things for hours without boredom.

I had puzzles and books.

I talked to myself and my toys.

I cannot remember, not once that as he slept he told me to be quiet.

I wonder if it entertained him to hear his little girl playing

aloud. I did everything aloud, some things never change.

I would love to hear today his stories of those days.

I can't remember what I said and would love to hear

what he heard me say, how happy it made him.

Naps, for me hold many wonderful memories.

I need to get over the guilt I feel when I sleep in the day and how

I feel bad about not accomplishing nothing for those few hours.

Remembering my Daddy brings me such peace that

napping should become part of my daily schedule.

It worked for Freddie Collins

and the saying is:

"THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE"