All knows how I have always tried
very hard to be close to all my nieces and nephews.
Some were easier than others
but I have always tried to be the kind of aunt
who not only loved them but also was honest with them.
If I were to be honest now, some of those relationships
were easier than others.
The one I speak of today is my relationship with my nephew,
Miki Tamplain.
I have gotten his permission to blog about him
and I know he is now in a position that he will
be proud of what his ol' aunt lil has to say about him.
My relationship with Little Miki
has many times been painful but to be honest
even when he was a little bitty boy there
was something about him that made me believe his life
was not going to be one that would be easy sailing.
After loosing his daddy at 12 I saw these beliefs come to life.
Yet even through all his rough spots,
when like other people who loved him, it would be easier
to just stay away, I tried to be there for him.
I made it a point to never lie to him and to be
the voice against what he wanted to hear.
I tried to always tell him the truth even when it was hard for
the both of us, I never pretended that I was alright with
the choices he was making.
Then he had this beautiful little girl
and he asked me to be her godmother.
I am not sure why he chose me but I like to believe it
was because he knew that I would alway keep her as
my first priority even if it meant I had to let him go.
My nephew suffers from a disease as the boys in my family do,
DRUG ADDICTION
It may be why I have understood his life more than others have.
Many have told me, those who love me and saw my pain
when dealing with this nephew of mine to let him be.
He would never change.
I still held out.
I called him when he made bad decisions.
I counseled his momma on what tough love meant and
that she had to let the law do what they had to do with
him instead of always bailing him out.
I wrote to him faithfully while he was in jail.
I told him what I thought and I never lied to him.
He never found sobriety in any treatment center he attended
and he didn't find good sobriety while in jail.
I threatened to kick his ass if when he got out of jail he did not
change his life for good.
However, he never found sobriety.
Such as addiction goes, he never worked a good program
but I know that each time he made promises to me
and his mother he really meant it, he just didn't work
on what he really needed to do long enough.
Something happened about two year ago that
threatened he and I's relationship.
He put his daughter, my godchild, in a position
that even I, felt I could not forgive him for.
I met with him and told him all those things he needed to hear.
That I truly believed he would die of this disease.
That we had already lost him
and that he now had put me in a position
that I had to choose between him and his child and I would
always, always choose the children in this family over the adults.
I reminded him that when he was her age I chose him
and tried to be there for him but now it was her turn
and I would turn my back on him forever if it meant
loosing this precious child because of his choices.
I know he believed me, I had not lied to him before.
I think he heard me, we were at the funeral of Doc's mom.
I know he remembers the conversation.
It was honest and it was tough to hear.
After this, somehow, this boy got granted another chance.
After getting thousands of chances before and blowing them,
the courts gave him another one.
How lucky can one boy get?
He first went to intensive treatment,
then a half way house and when given the choice to
continue on in a program or going on his own,
he chose a three quarter house.
I am proud to say he now has celebrated 11 months of sobriety.
He has once again been given a chance to be a father to his
beautiful little girl.
I am not sure why he has been so lucky and many
still believe this will not last.
Heck even I know that the true test will be when he is out
in the world on his own without the shelter of a quarter house
to make him truly show that his life has changed for good.
Yet, this Aunt Lil defends him by telling those who
say some people just cannot change
that if my HOBL can change then anyone came.
Yes, long winded this morning but the whole blog is
because I have wanted to write this for some time.
Ever since I heard the song
I WANT TO BE A GOOD MAN
by Chris Young
I have heard these words in reference to my little nephew
who is now a grown man.
I think of these words as being words that would come out of his mouth.
so I print them here for all to see but
mostly for him and his daughter.
I want this to be true for him and Cami.
Instead of being about a girl the singer loves
I picture him saying this to the true love of his life
his little girl.
GOD, I'M DOWN HERE ON MY KNEES
'CAUSE IT'S THE LAST PLACE LEFT TO FALL
BEGGIN' FOR ANOTHER CHANCE
IF THERE'S ANY CHANCE AT ALL
THAT YOU MIGHT STILL BE LISTENIN'
LOVIN' AND FORGIVIN' GUYS LIKE ME
I'VE SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE
GETTIN' IT ALL WRONG
AND I SURE COULD USE YOUR HELP
'CAUSE FROM NOW ON
I WANT TO BE A GOOD MAN
A DO LIKE I SHOULD MAN
I WANT TO BE THE KIND OF MAN
THE MIRROR LIKES TO SEE
I WANT TO BE A STRONG MAN
AND ADMIT THAT I WAS WRONG MAN
GOD, I'M ASKING YOU TO COME CHANGE ME
INTO THE MAN I WANT TO BE
IF THERE'S ANYWAY FOR HER AND ME
TO MAKE ANOTHER START
COULD YOU SEE WHAT YOU COULD DO
TO PUT SOME LOVE BACK IN HER HEART?
'CAUSE IT GOIN' TO TAKE A MIRACLE
AFTER ALL I'VE DONE TO REALLY MAKE HER SEE
THAT I WANT TO BE A STAY MAN
I WANT TO BE A BRAVE MAN
I WANT TO BE THE KIND OF MAN
SHE SEES IN HER DREAMS
GOD, I WANT TO BE YOUR MAN
AND I WANT TO BE HER MAN
GOD, I ONLY HOPE SHE STILL BELIEVES
IN THE MAN I WANT TO BE
WELL, I KNOW THIS IS LATE AT NIGHT THE TALK IS CHEAP
BUT LORD, DON'T GIVE UP ON ME
I WANT TO BE A GIVIN' MAN
I WANT TO BE A REALLY START LIVIN' MAN
GOD, I'M ASKING YOU TO COME CHANGE ME
INTO THE MAN I WANT TO BE
I want to believe that this time, this time,
my nephew Miki finally got it right.
No matter what, even when I talked meanly to you,
behind the scenes, I always had your back.
I love you enough that if it comes to loosing your daughter
because of your bad ways, I will side with your daughter.
I love you my little nephew and I will end with
words that will make you smile, they are words
your aunt Lil has said to you since you were old enough
to understand what they meant:
"WHERE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?"
AWESOME POST AUNT LIL!! YOU TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUT OF MY MOUTH!! I LOVE YOU, MIKI AND CAMI!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is a test. I typed this big long comment and it wouldn't go through. Rosie
ReplyDeleteYou make a Momma proud Lilly! Thank you so much for this Blog about my Son, Miki. I am so proud of him because he has worked so hard and he truly deserves this credit. I know he has a long haul ahead, but I think he can haul it this time. I really believe that Miki has finally grown from a boy to a Man and a great one at that. I always knew he had it in him, because Mike holds one of the biggest hearts I know. That heart has sometimes been the reasoning for his bad choices and decisions. Remember, everybody was always Miki's best friend. How many times have I heard when I disagreed with someone he wanted to associate with, "But, Mom, he's my Best Friend." LOL. Funny now, but not so much then. Now, he chooses his friends wisely. Let me explain a little further... after lunch, I'm hungry right now. LOL
ReplyDeleteAh..that was some good food at the Balcony where I ran into none other than Snot Nosed C. Anyway..here we go. I got a chance to see Miki and Melissa interact with each other for the first time since Cameron was 3. She is now 9 1/2. It wasn't much, but it's a start. Melissa allowed Cammi to invite her Dad to her danced recital and agreed to meet afterwards. She also graciously allowed Cameron to come spend the night at the Holidome with me and Ange'. After the recital, we met outside where Cameron and Melissa were sitting on a bench outside. Cammi saw her Dad and ran up to him screaming "Daddy, Daddy!" She jumped into his arms and received the beautiful dozen red roses he had purchased for her awesome performance. Cameron, with a twinkle and gleam in her eyes said "Thank you Daddy, Thank you so much for coming to my dance recital." That girl Loves her Daddy and no one or nothing can change that, and to say the least, the feeling is very much mutual. Melissa patiently waited for our hugs, kisses and pictures with our little star. She was gorgeous. Melissa walked over to where we were to hand us Cammi's overnight bag and Miki introduced his guest to her. Aimee and her 11 year old daughter, Tobee and her 3 year old son, Gunter. I believe Melissa was kinda taken back a bit because Aimee is a bit older than Miki. What Melissa didn't know is that Aimee is not Miki's girlfriend, but she is his counselor. She was one of his main counselors at the half-way house. They became very good friends and still are to this day. She is his rock and he is hers. She is a single parent and Miki helps her out with things around her house and she helps him stay out of trouble. Her kids adore Miki, they look up to him. Let me explain...At Miki's graduation from the half-way house, everyone got a chance to say something to him and Aimee wanted to go last. When it got to her turn, she stood up, looked at Miki and began to cry for almost a minute. I saw Miki wipe tears from her eyes and said "I'll be okay with your help". It was so touching to see how many peoples admiration Miki had captured. I kept thinking "Is that my Son they are talking about?" LOL
ReplyDeleteI know this is also long winded but, I haven't commented in a while, so I'm making up for it now. Sorry! It was a bit sad to see Miki having to go his separate way as me, Ange' and Cammi went excitedly along our way t the Holiday Inn. I looked back and saw him walking with his head down, trying not to break down. Hopefully, with the continued help of the Good Lord (who has also become one of his best friends), he will never forget that kids grow up very fast, he has already missed so much of Cameron's life and she needs him to be the Man she can count on for rest of her life. I do believe she will have that now. Although Miki was able to be there at the recital, he can still only have supervised visitation at the supervised facility in Lafayette. So even though it was sad that he couldn't come with us, it is a step in a world where Miki will one day have Melissa's trust again to have more privileges with Cameron. He realizes now that it is not his right, it is his privilege. I know some of the family members think that Miki will never change, but what do we have is we don't have HOPE, LOVE and FAITH? Food for thought. I Love you Lilly and really appreciate your calling Miki UP on this one. Like I said he deserves it!! I Love you Miki and am so proud of you!! From ya Loving Momma. Rosie
ReplyDeletethank you aunt lil for posting this blog about me and all of the things i've been through and where i am now. i think u got it pretty much nailed lol. i'm sure some doubt still lingers about whether or not this will last, but i'm okay with that. i spent a lot of my life messing things up so it'll take some time to get it back right again, if it ever was right. i've only just started on this journey and i still have quite a ways to go. but i truly believe that god brought me through all of that to get me where i am now and i'm happier now than i ever remember being. i love you and miss you and hope to see you soon!!
ReplyDeleteand mom... thankyou for always having my back no matter what. your continued love and support means the world to me and this whole thing would be a lot less rewarding if i didn't have u by my side. i love you
IN READING THESE BLOGS, IF I CAN BE HONEST, MIKI I REMEMBER GOING PICK YOU UP WHEN YOU DAD PASSED AWAY. YOU STAYED WITH US UNTIL YOU MOM COULD DO WHAT SHE HAD TO DO FOR YOU DAD. ON THE WAY HOME YOU SAID, "I WANT TO GROW UP AND HAVE A WONDERFUL LIFE, A LIFE THAT MY DAD WILL BE PROUD OF." THAT BROUGHT TEARS TO EVERYONE'S EYES THAT DAY. ALTHOUGH, YOU MAY NOT REMEMBER THIS STATEMENT I DO AND I THOUGHT THIS YOUNG CHILD WILL BE OK! YOU HAVE CROSSED MAY DANGEROUS ROADS, YOU HAVE BEEN THERE AND BACK, AND OF COURSE, YES, YOUR FAMILY WAS VERY SCARDED FOR YOU BUT YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER, WE ARE FAMILY AND WILL NEVER TURN OUR BACKS ON ANY OF YOU. IF YOU FEEL ANYONE OF US DID IS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU AND TO SEE FAMILY MEMBERS HURTING JUST HURTS US MORE. FROM WHAT I AM HEARING I THINK YOU HAVE FINALLY COME TO THE POINT IN YOUR LIFE THAT YOUR DAD WOULD BE PROUD OF YOU! AND WE ARE TOO!! ALMOST A YEAR, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, YOUR DAUGHTER AND YOUR FAMILY NEEDS YOU TO!!
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