The ways of the Lord

When Gina B. was going through testing to find out

exactly what was going on with her body

I was going to Tennessee to find out about this thing

called "late effects of radiation"

She would ask me often how things were going and listened

intently as I shared my story.

Gina B., at that time never once shared with me what she

was going through.

At first I was upset about this and also upset that I should

have seen signs that things were not right with her.

I felt like I had been so self-centered that I could not

see that my friend was having her own issues.

After Christmas holidays I am given the news by another work friend.

She thought I knew that Gina B. had been diagnosed with ALS

and felt so badly that she was the one who had told me.

I got weak to my knees, bent down at her desk and wanted to cry.

I, being a nurse, knew what this diagnosis meant,

Praying for miracles has always been on our agenda but

my nursing mind could not forget the things I knew and have seen

with the "devil" called Lou Gehrig's disease.

The friend who gave me the information asked me not to say

anything until she told me but Lil, well she just doesn't roll that way,

God does not allow me to ever do this.

After I get my composure I walk straight to where I know I am

going to find my Gina B. and I call her out of class.

She knows right away what I am there for and I have no plans

as to what I am going to say, but I am going to have to at least offer

my support to my Gina B.

She comes out and we hug, we hug big and I kind of fuss her for

not sharing her information with me.

As always, she was worried about my own diagnosis and didn't

want to add to my burden, my burden? My burden is nothing compared

to what my Gina B. was going through.

Then the AHA moment takes place.

I do not know why I said what I said next and I can't even remember my

exact words. It is one of those moments when God uses me as a vessel

and I say what needs to be said, the things that others may be

thinking but can't say.

I say to her, "Gina you have to quit working, you have to quit and

you have to do it now. A job such as this will drain you with a disease

like ALS which calls for rest, less stress, and therapy.

You are giving the best of you to these children and when you get

home you cannot give to the ones who love you the most,

your family. They are the ones who deserve the energy you are

putting forth here. You will never forgive yourself if, because

of your illness, something happens to one of these children in school.

No one in the world expects you to be working with a diagnosis of ALS.

People just don't do it and you should not be either."

In a nut shell, that is basically what the message was.

Gina B. is looking at me the whole time with the biggest eyes,

in astonishment and says, "You are an angel"

hmmm I have been called many things, but an angel? maybe a disciple...

She then shares how her prayers were for an answer for all of this.

She was unsure of how she should proceed, of what God was calling her to do

here and like the wind I am sometimes I proceed to tell her

what it is she needs to hear.

An Aha moment? Perhaps.

Gina B., that day begins the process of no longer working and we

miss her soooo much.

However on Friday, at our visit, I talk to her about that day,

we both remember it so vividly because we both believe

God used me as a vessel.

I now question Gina B. on the fact that I also said that her struggles, her

cross may not have anything to do with her but may be for a lesson

for someone else in her life.

I question if the words I spoke to her should be mirrored back

to me as I struggle with my medical issues that again, I must stress

are no comparison to what she has.

She looks at me and says,

"When it is your time, you are going to know, it will be clear to you"

I know then she is right, my time is not here

I must continue to balance my work life and personal life

because as she said, I will know, right now that answer is still

not clear. So I challenge on and share our story with

all of you readers to see, God is still very present in

our world, the problem is, not enough are listening to his Word.