If the phrase, "spitting nails" was possible...

Yesterday, it could be because Mommy had been so sick the night

before or it could be because of lack of sleep but

yesterday, if it were possible to "spit nails"

I may have just done it. I am ashamed to say it was to 

an elderly resident that I was upset with.

I have never gotten upset from anyone there knowing

that they are elderly and are entitled to speak the way they wish.

One of my favs, ms. Helen was back at the Manor,

so as I made a trip to bring my suitcase to my car,

I had to stop and give Helen a big hug.

There sitting at her table was another sweet lady.

As I fill Helen in on Mommy's health while she has been gone,

the other lady interjects,

"Can I tell you what is wrong with your Momma?"

I say nothing but she does.

"Ya'll are pampering your Momma too much, she has

lost her independence because ya'll do everything for her"

I am stunned for a moment, she knows nothing of my Mommy's

condition, she knows nothing about the physician's news to us

that our Mommy is dying and its only a matter of time

until her heart gives out, nothing can be done.

I say to her that we are unable to leave her alone,

especially at night. She says,

"Well ya'll should leave her alone during the day"

I tell her that will not happen. I for one moment,

feel the need to explain to this woman what is going on

with my Mommy but I change my mind because

one, it is not her business and two, I realize that I never

see this little lady with any family staying with her.

I have never seen a visitor.

Maybe her words are sincere meaning nothing to hurt

or maybe some of her comments are our of jealousy for lack

of her own family. She does not hear my Mommy's confusion

on what time of the day it is, she does not see her struggle to just get

out of bed each day. She does not see my Mommy loosing her

modesty as we have to help her with her body washing.

She does not hear or see the fear in our Mommy's voice,

in her eyes when she calls our name at night because

she has chest pains, can't breathe and believes she is alone.

Sometimes in the night she just calls our name to be

sure we are still there.

Our Mommy needs us for her daily care, just

like we needed her when we were babies, needing

our diapers changed, sure that someone would feed us,

held us until we fell asleep.

Each night, as I ready her for bed, she sits and I give her

a back wash and rub with lotion she says to me,

"Oh Shad Bet" 

Which is a Cajun slang for something that feels good.

The other words she shares with us needs no translation,

" I am so blessed to have such wonderful kids,

I must have done something right to deserve this."

Oh my dear Mommy, the feelings are mutual.

Today I choose to hold no grudge against another

elderly lady who may not be as blessed as we.