just can't stop the mind from thinking...

I, like probably most of us, cannot stop thinking about

the massacre of Connecticut. One minute I am sad, then angry,

then have the desire to do nothing but read the stories of the tragedy.

Last night, as I lay in bed, I thought of all the survivors, all 

the little children whose lives are forever altered by this.

I remembered a time when I was 10 and was at a friend,

Theresa Terrebonne's camp out.

After an evening full of beauty pageant play, laughing and singing,

we all finally laid down to sleep after her dad had put out our 

campfire. I wore glasses then and was blind without them.

I laid them on the side of my sleeping bag and slept.

Sometimes during the early morning hours, we were awakened

to fire. the home across the street from where our tent was had

caught on fire. The home belonged to a fellow classmate of ours

but thankfully the home was empty.

As I awakened to all my friends screaming and trying to get out 

of the tent, I could not find my glasses and believed that it

was our tent on fire from the camp fire we had the night before.

The terror I felt was one I can still evoke when speaking of it.

I, for a few minutes, thought we were all to die.

Once I realized we were safe, and Theresa's dad came to 

calm us all down, we watched as the fire fighters tried

to put out the fire to no avail, the home burnt to the ground.

I could not stop thinking of my classmate and how 

they no longer had a home or anything they loved

like their toys, beds. It made an impact on my in a negative way.

My dad was called to come pick me up because all I wanted was

to be with my momma and daddy.

For the rest of that morning, I slept between my parents.

for the next three nights, not only did I have to sleep with my sister, C

but I convinced her to sleep with the lights on.

She was a good sister, even though she told me this was ridiculous,

she left the light on and slept with me in my room.

My reason for this story?

I think of the impact on these surviving children as well as 

their families. This shooter did not just take the lives

of 27 people but he has altered the innocence of many children

who from now on will never be the same.

He has altered the lives of families.

I remain mostly angry today as I want him to be alive.

Death was too easy, so many families will never have the answers

they would need to try and heal.

I hate this... and I didn't even know them,

can't even imagine what that sleepy little town is feeling.

Connecticut shooting

As news comes out slowly about the deadly shootings

at an elementary school in Connecticut, I am sure all

are like me, wanting to cry and throw up at the same time.

Not much is known as of yet except that

at least 27 are dead and most of those are children.

The gunman was 24 and no motive is known at this time

as he lies dead in the school also.

There was a dead person found in his home as

well as his mother who was in the school.

How does a day like this begin as an ordinary day

for all these families and within hours you are finding out

your baby is dead.

I can only think of Bean. An ordinary day, turned tragic.

I think of the wonderful day we had yesterday together 

and wonder how in the heck would we go on if today she

was gone because of an event such as this.

I think I would be angry that the shooter was also dead

as I could not have my say so to him, I could not find out Why

from him, I could not let him know what he had taken from us.

How do you go to bed tonight without your baby with you?

How do you ever walk into the home, the room where that child lived.

What makes me mad, there is absolutely no sense in such a mess.

This world is becoming something that is just not pretty.

Tonight I am invited to the Dupont home next door

where three gorgeous triplet girls live with their parents.

There will be other children there who are gathering for

a Christmas celebration.

It makes me think of the news article that told of the children

at the school were crying,

"I don't want to die, I want Christmas"

I will be thinking of all the children the same age who will not 

have Christmas this year.

I bet those parents will take a little longer tucking in their babies,

a little more time reading that bedtime story, hugging and kissing.

Children today, all over the world will get away with things

that they would not on a typical day because of this act.

Somehow, people move on and this will become an incident 

that happened. For these families, life has been altered.

Just don't know if I would want to continue to move ahead

if I lost my child to such a thing.

May God, in his infinite wisdom, aid all involved to find some

type of peace as understanding will not be a part of healing here.

Even if you don't believe in the power of prayer,

say some anyway.

Without faith, I don't know how these people can get through this.

UGH, Gro- Cud, I have...

HOBL

HOBL, this is one of the birds that has began to basically

live in our back yard, what is this???

She kissed a cow, and she liked it...

 Yesterday was Mommy's St. Joseph Manor Christmas party.

I am so thankful that Baby boy and Kd let me have Bean skip school

often to come play with her Mumsie.

Yesterday was one of those days.

I am in love with this picture, just saying....

 If any of you follow Facebook on BB's wall, it is known

that Bean is obsessed with cows, wants to "keese"

one and "hug neck" of one.

BB, when he was home last hitch, did all he could to find

a cow that would stay still long enough so she could

"keese" and "hug neck"

Went so far as going to a friends farm where there are baby cows

that would stay still long enough for the girl wish to come true.

You know, Her Daddy is all about fulfilling dreams...

 I can't even explain just how happy Bean was to see a lifesize

nativity scene at St. Joseph Manor.

And when she saw that cow, in the background,

oh she flipped,

"Cow" "Moooo" "hug neck" "keese it"

the Bean's vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds.

 She just could not get enough of this nativity.

She hugged and kissed Mary and Joseph,

 A camel, rode the camel,

 Kissed a donkey...

 kissed Mary and Joseph...

Then there was the cow, oh how she loved this cow,

that could not move...

She petted it, hugged it's neck and kissed it...

then kissed it, then kissed it again.

that girl loves her some cow. 

 The only thing she may love more than cows is her babies.

Oh when she saw baby Jesus, she was so gentle,

"BeeBee" over and over and over.

Then she did one of those things that she does that

just has a way of melting all of us,

she bent down, ran her hand on baby Jesus cheek

and planted the most softest kiss on his little lips.

I am so honored and so humbled to the fact that

this special little girl calls me her "Musie"

there is no better gift than a grandaughter made

and molded to fit perfectly in this family

by none other than that same Jesus that she gently kissed.

Oh December, how busy you are...

I am happy to say that all handmade, 103 Christmas cards

are made, each with a love letter inside, ready to be mailed.

Now to get stamps...

Then today there is 32 homemade cookie bags to make

for the employees at the manor for the Christmas party there tomorrow.

There is also a cake to be made for that very same party.

Going to have Bean tomorrow so I can bring her to the Manor

party tomorrow where she will not only have a blast 

but will be the hit of the party because those elderly,

they love babies especially the kind that goes up to each 

of them to talk and share her toys.

Most of my xmas gifts are bought and wrapped,

tree is up as are the decorations.

I have many gift cards to make, including

32 of them because each treat bag needs a tag, right?

This is not complaining, I love doing all these things

but gee, would be easier if there were just a few more days

to the month of December.

Next year going to start making Christmas cards right after I

finish my Halloween cards.

I keep talking about downsizing the list of cards sent,

but how? How can I cut anyone off a list

so important to the holiday season?

This month is actually a hard one for many.

Those who have lost loved ones or can't be

with their loved ones during the month.

I, myself, am not sure how to separate myself into 

all the places I want to be come Christmas eve/morning.

Sometimes I am glad for the season to be done

as I hate not being able to be in three places at the same time.

Enjoy the month, even with the hustle and bustle because

January is coming soon and it is the rest and catch up month.

Usually too cold to be out, bad weather keeps us home.

The month passes fast...