Sunday, May 29, 2011
Today is the day that I will break my
anxiety over scrapping for Jilly-bean.
I know all of you will think it is a strange thing that
Jilly-bean is almost 3 months old and I have not scrapped
not one picture of this precious cargo.
I have been overwelmed about scrapping for her.
I want her whole life to be so perfect and
trying to capture special pictures in an album
have made me fear that I will not do a good enough job.
So, it is true when I say not one page has been made
for her album.
The other fact is that I want to double whatever I make
for her book for my own book.
So today, I am determined that it will be the day
I break this silly fear of not doing her book justice.
Today I will do the first page knowing that once that
first page is done, the rest will be so easy.
I mean, I have to start, before I know it she will
be one and I will have no scrap book to produce
at her birthday party.
That would be a sin from a Mumsie who is known
for her scrapping....
Today, today is the day!
She loves her deda's kisses. Enjoy the video!
Friday, May 27, 2011
Another day of a double post
because again I am blown away by how God works.
I started my earlier post by saying I was going to visit TES.
What I didn't say is that I slept little last night so overslept
until 9 am which is very late for me.
What I didn't say is that I would not have gone to TES
had I not had to go sign papers.
Yet, when I got there I was told that the whole staff was
in the library and the principal was speaking to each
employee to acknowledge what each meant to her.
Like on cue, I walked in and all were excited to see me.
As though I had timed it, she got to my name
and on my card she had written the word:
She proceeded to share that she felt that although
I was beautiful outside but that my inner beauty is
the part that shined for all to see.
Wow, did I need to hear that!
I decided to stay and hear what she had to say about
all of us, I felt reconnected to this group once again.
Then the award pins went out and I was there to accept my
own 30 year pin.
Thirty years to a profession that I never imagined to have.
I then had lunch with my preK and Kn. teachers at Flanagan's
and viewed the new building with all of them.
What a beautiful fresh start.
Our Principal earlier had us each take a balloon
and we were to release them outside releasing any negative
thoughts that ever surrounded ourselves with the old TES
to start in the new building with a fresh start,
I released my balloon knowing that I am going back
to work in August.
I can do this, I know I can.
Today, this morning, as soon as I get dressed, actually,
I will head to Thibodaux Elementary School to
sign some end of school year paperwork.
They called me yesterday saying I had to do it today.
Today is the last day of school for all my work friends.
I can't wait to see them all as I know their excitement
will be noticeable.
Another big event is happening at our TES.
Teachers are beginning to move into our newly
built school where for the first time ever for TES
all the children will be in one building.
I am excited for the visit as it will be the first time
I get to tour the new school.
This new school is a big deal for me.
It is my chance.
My chance, my last chance to return to TES
as their school nurse.
Because it is a one story building I will not be
required to climb steps anymore.
I just know that this will be my chance to return
to my profession.
So I will join my friends today in their excitement
of moving and do my best this summer to
pick myself up from my boot straps and
do all I have to do to be there on August 4th
when those doors open for the very first day
of a new beginning for TES.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Today, need to vent.
Not a good day.
Letting the monster of pain that lives inside of me
I try, most days to focus on the positive
and am pretty good at it.
Most days are good and I think,
"I can't wait until August to go back to work"
Then there is a night like last night,
a morning like this morning and my mind thinks,
"How in the world can I function on a day like today?"
Pain, pain, pain.... why is there such a thing?
Why does it exists?
How can there be days that I think it is behind me,
this surgery has been a success and I am all better.
Then a day like today to knock me back into last year...
I know, I Know what some will say,
"oh, be glad for the good days..."
"It could be worse"
Ugh but sometimes, sometimes you just want to
fuss and complain and say,
"This is not how I saw my life, how I want to live"
It is only for a short time.
It helps me to better focus on the future when I
can whine for a little while.
So, seems as though today will be a day laying around.
Always faced with the decision as to whether I
just do nothing and manage the pain with no medications
or just taking the medications that ease the pain
only to mentally play the game that I have to take a narcotic.
Yes, today, I am feeling sorry for myself.
I will get over it, give me a day.
Today I give myself permission to be upset
so that tomorrow I can knock myself in the butt and
tell myself to stop the whining.
"Be glad for the good days,"
"It could be so much worse..."
something I think about, often.
Not the type between lovers.
No the type between children and adults.
In my world, the seeing of the held hand of a child
makes me warm and fuzzy inside.
I always think that a child whose hand is being held
by an adult is a loved child.
This may be a misconception but in my world,
it is always what I think about when I see it.
Having been raised in such a small town that was
all white I believed that other races did not love their children
the way whites did.
I go on a limb to say this because it sounds so prejudiced.
Yet, I cannot deny the fact that it was what I thought.
I just did not know many families of other races.
That is until I moved "up the bayou" and realized
that was such a false statement.
I am even embarrassed to think I thought that
as now that I have so many friends from different races,
now I realize just how wrong I was.
Yesterday coming home from Jill-axing I passed through
the town of White Castle. A predominately black
neighborhood. Because I am a people watcher and
think long about the families of others I always
watch the happenings of the side walks in White Castle.
One reason is because the speed limit is comparable
to Golden Meadow.... 30 miles an hour.
You can notice a lot when you are crawling down the street.
Yesterday I pass two black men holding the hand of
one very cute little black boy.
One of the men had a chain wallet, oversized shirt.
The other was a little older, had his pants down past his
butt, you know the look.
Yet each of these men had the hand of the cutest little
MY first instinct was not my old mental thoughts of
how people love but that this little boy was a loved child.
I could tell they were not holding his hand because they
were afraid of him going on the road.
They were strolling, not in a hurry.
They were holding his hand because they wanted to.
He was smiling, looking up into one of the men's faces.
He was loved, I could tell that just because they were holding his hand.
Since then I have had the art of hand holding on my mind.
I am not one to hold hands with HOBL.
Ugh, not one to show that type of affection to my spouse in public.
But, my children.... Oh I was a hand holder.
The babies were old and I was still holding their hands.
It was nothing to be walking in the mall, on the beach,
to be sitting at the movies and either I or them reached out to hold hands.
Just last time we went to the beach, I remember walking with baby girl
and holding her hand.
When baby boy was young, we had this truck with little fold down seats
in the barely-there back seat and BB
would often ask me to let him sit behind me so we could hold hands.
We did that often. He behind me, myself with my hand to the back
holding his hand.
Church was another place that I held hands, scratched their
There is something about holding a child's hand that
gives them a sense of security, makes me think
that no matter what is going on in the world,
right there at that time, they know they are loved.
This of course, may be true just in my mind, but hey,
a good thought I think.
So hold a child's hand today, even
if they think they are too big, reach out and
hold their hand. Believe me very infrequently
will they pull away from this form of affection.
Happy summer to all of those that find this their last school day
let summer begin!!!!
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Guess I need to explain what HOBL is speaking of....
The "hot link" is making me want to stop blogging.
The other night while at bingo with the other Mumsie
HOBL called to ask me about a comment made by "HOT"
I had not seen it. He was so excited to the fact that
"HOT" had left a link site for me to follow and being the
HOBL that he is, he decided to check it out for me
and there was, yes, no other but, PORN!!!!
Really, I mean cannot HOT find her own people to leave
blog comments on.
So there I was at Bingo trying to dab my numbers
(in which i won, by the way)
and erase the comment from my IPHONE
that HOBL thinks I don't need.
I tell you that was one instant I was glad for the iphone.
The last thing I need is for one of my young followers to
go on a link from Auntie Lil's blog to find naked people.
It also got me thinking about how easy it was for
this "HOT" to just leave a comment.
To pollute what is sacred to me, that has my name on it.
I was just a little pissed off!
So there will have to be changes.
Like I don't want Jilly-bean to be 18 and
decide to look up her Mumsie's legacy only to find
porn sites on here...
UGH!!!! Yeah HOBL, I Know you liked it but you are
a dirty old man like that. I, however, would prefer not
to leave that on my legacy.
So there will have to be some changes to the blog.
Will have to make it more private or do away with it.
I can't risk the little ones in my life to be used in
any indecent way....
So to "HOT" or those like you...
find another blog to contaminate
and leave my rated "family" blog alone.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
I will confess right here and right now....
I have no clue what the plot of the
Pirates of the Caribbean movies are about.
I love me some Johnny Depp,
have to see everything he is in.
Because he is so handsome and so strange.
I mean sexy even as a darn nasty and dirty pirate.
Yet I sat there yesterday through 2 hours and 17 minutes
and cannot tell you this morning what exactly the whole
reason for the movie was.
I even nodded off a few times.
Yes the graphics were great, the mermaids were so beautiful.
Penelope Cruz as a pirate was quite beautiful herself
but I left the movies wondering,
"Now what was that all about?"
Probably just me since I really am not into that kind of movie
unless Johnny Depp is in it.
I suggest if you have seen the others, to see this one also.
Today Baby girl and I are going to take advantage of another
5 dollar movie, going see something borrowed.
Should understand that one since it's a chick flick and
last time I checked, I was still a chick...
I won half a pot at bingo last night.... woohoo!!!
So going to treat my baby girl to the movies.
That is if she makes it here on time...
Late doesn't work with me...
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Started my Saturday afternoon with amazing, old friends.
Stacy and Thomas' little girl is already 5 years old!!!!
There was another important birthday I had to miss to make
this one, Little Lillian has turned 2 but I decided that I had
not seen these old Cut Off friends in way too long.
In 1993 myself and these three amazing women began
working together for Dr. Camille Pitre (right).
We were the original four.
It became more than a job, it became a place to
grow, learn, and understand what friendship was about.
Those were some good old days and I have to say,
we seem to be aging quite nicely.
These three women will always hold a special place in
my heart because there are many things we have and
continue to share.
I hate that we don't take the time to visit more often
but we are all so busy in our own lives.
However, we will always be close.
Stacy is having a blast raising Abby.
Liz is now the grandmother to three beautiful little boys.
Camille graduated her oldest daughter this very same morning,
her little boy already in high school.
A bond here that can never be broken.
My next venture was to visit with my bestie, Laurie and her
family then we had supper at this new restaurant in Larose.
My besties, Laurie and Ann and my friend, Lindsey
had an amazing supper here.
The restaurant is in the old Dufrene house and I was so glad
that finally this home was being used for something so wonderful.
For many years it just stayed closed up.
I have a feeling that this restaurant will be place known to many.
the atmosphere is grand yet comfortable.
We sat on the patio and the food was amazing...
But the most amazing thing about the whole night was spending
time with these "girls"
we are never together where we don't have a blast.
We laughed, cut up a little bit, caught up on the happenings
of each others lives and, of course, reminisced of old times.
Yes, and we did some gossiping....
It is in our nature.
Yet these besties, right there, well they are diamonds to me.
Having friends like these are not something money can
ever buy. I love my besties!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
I rarely read forward emails from others.
That is unless it is from my friend, Lindsey.
She sends me the funniest and the ones that make me think.
So, it is this morning that I awaken to one Linz sent me titled,
THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME
1) APPRECIATING A JOB WELL DONE
"If y'all going to kill each other, do it outside.
I just finished cleaning."
"You better pray that comes out of the carpet"
3) TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't stop I am going to knock you into
the middle of next week!"
"Because I said so, that's why"
5) MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out that tree and break your neck,
you are not going to the store with me"
"Make sure you wear clean underwear in case you are
in an accident"
"If you don't stop crying I am going to give you something
to cry about"
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper"
"Will you look at the dirt in the back of your neck?"
"You will sit there until you eat your spinach"
"This room looks like a tornado went through it"
"If I told you once, I have told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"
13) CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you in to this world and I can take you out"
14) BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father"
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this
world who don't have wonderful parents like you"
"Just wait until your father gets home"
"You are going to get it when your father gets home"
18) MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes they are
going to get stuck that way"
"Put your sweater on, don't you think I know when you are cold?"
"When the lawn mower cuts off your toes,
don't come running to me"
21) HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables you'll never grow up"
"You are just like your father"
"Shut the door, do you think you were born in a barn?"
"When you get to be my age, you will understand"
"One day, you will have kids and I hope they are
just like you!"
Each of these made me smile or chuckle since we have all
heard these sayings from someone in our lifetime.
Thanks Linz, for making my morning,
hope the rest of you enjoy them.
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Everytime I hear the Rascall Flatts song
I WON'T LET GO
it makes me want to cry.
It is the way all parents should feel about their children
and it is the comfort each child, no matter how old,
should feel when they think of their parents:
IT'S LIKE A STORM
THAT CUTS A PATH
IT BREAKS YOUR WILL IT FEELS LIKE THAT
YOU THINK YOUR LOST
BUT YOU'RE NO LOST ON YOUR OWN
YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
I WILL STAND BY YOU
I WILL HELP YOU THROUGH
WHEN YOU'VE DONE ALL YOU CAN DO
AND YOU CAN'T COPE
I WILL DRY YOUR EYES
I WILL FIGHT YOUR FIGHT
I WILL HOLD YOU TIGHT AND I WON'T LET GO.
IT HURTS MY HEART TO SEE YOU CRY
I KNOW IT'S DARK, THIS PART OF LIFE
OH, IT FINDS US ALL AND WE'RE TOO SMALL
TO STOP THE RAIN
OH, BUT WHEN IT RAINS
I WILL STAND BY YOU...
WHEN YOU'VE DONE ALL YOU CAN DO
AND YOU CAN'T COPE
I WILL DRY YOUR EYES,
I WILL FIGHT YOUR FIGHT...
DON'T BE AFRAID TO FALL
I'M RIGHT HERE TO CATCH YOU
I WON'T LET YOU DOWN, IT WON'T GET YOU DOWN
YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE IT
YEAH, I KNOW YOU CAN MAKE IT
'CAUSE I WILL STAND BY YOU
I WILL HELP YOU THROUGH
WHEN YOU'VE DONE ALL YOU CAN DO
AND YOU CAN'T COPE
I WILL DRY YOUR EYES
I WILL FIGHT YOUR FIGHT
I WILL HOLD YOU TIGHT AND I WON'T LET GO
Yes, every child should feel this of their parents and yet
I know it is not always the case in this crazy world.
I feel for those children who don't have this unconditional love.
Yet, if you are one of the lucky and you find this kind
of love aside from your child, someone who loves you
in this way, then that is a gift, my friend.
A pure and sacred gift, especially if you find yourself on
a road that has turns you didn't expect.
If you have it, appreciate it....
it is a gift
Monday, May 16, 2011
Yup, yesterday I headed out the house at 1010 am
determined to see the movie Water for Elephants.
Got there in plenty time, bought my ticket,
thought it was odd that it was 10 dollars, but
hey, maybe they went up on the prices.
Went inside with my trusty Dallas blankie.
I hand my ticket to the manager and he says,
"Oh, there's a problem"
A problem... come on I bought my ticket,
I am all ready, I am hungry...
"This ticket is for 1040 tonight"
Ugh!!!! He was very nice about it and if I wasn't so old
and remember what it is to be flirted with, I would think
he was flirting when he said,
"But if you want to come back tonight, I'll watch it with you"
NO, I think I will swap me ticket,
by 1040 at night this woman is in bed!
I go outside, now time is ticking, gotta make a decision
on what I am going to see.... hmmmm.....
Exchanged my ticket and got 5 dollars back.
I knew that price seemed a little steep.
I go to the counter because today I am going to try
the pizza, baby girl says its pretty good.
Yet in the time it took for me to exchange my ticket,
the snack line is loooonnnggg and as usual for the Palace,
just one little guy serving all these early morning viewers.
Oh, but I get called over to the counter by none other
than, you guessed it, the manager...
He says he feels bad that I have to wait in the long line
so he serves me and makes my pizza himself, we chat
while he waits for my pizza to cook.
Okay, he's not my type, tall and bald, about 35ish.
I like short, dark, mexican types... lol
As for the movie, it was so great!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Hate it when I oversleep...
oversleep, for me is sleeping past 7 am,
can't stand it!
Makes me feel like I wasted my day.
Don't know why I should feel that way since
yesterday I did nothing at all but lay around,
eat, and watch TV.
Hate those days when I feel like I get nothing done.
So about to change the attitude of this day.
Going to finish drinking this here coffee
and going to head to the Palace Theater
to take in Water For Elephants at 1040...
I have this love for circuses and this hate for clowns.
I am hoping this movie is all its cracked up to be
and there are not many clowns....
Make it a good Sunday!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
I wish I had understanding of this whole
Mississippi water rising stuff.
I don't and I won't pretend I do.
Last week when baby boy called to see
if we were paying attention to the news
I have to honestly say I didn't even know what
he was talking about.
I do know this,
that if something gets baby boy on the phone
to discuss news with his momma,
then I should probably pay attention.
Especially when he said,
"Momma, this is a serious"
Not much in BB's life makes him talk serious.
So since then I have been paying attention.
Still I can't pretend to know how all of this works.
I do know that I feel sad for those of the underlying
communities who are fearful of the spillways opening.
I understand that when this happens it puts small
and sometimes very poor communities in jeopardy.
Remember this is a blog about my feelings
not about how much I know which is didelety-squat about this.
I get that opening these spillways are what is needed to save
the big cities of New Orleans and Baton Rouge and for the
lesser damage and I understand that there may be no other way.
Yet, I still feel for those who will be compromised for the
betterment of the big cities.
Almost like genocide.
Made me look that word up this morning:
THE DELIBERATE AND SYSTEMIC DESTRUCTION,
IN WHOLE OR IN PART, OF AN ETHNIC, RACIAL,
RELIGIOUS OR NATIONAL GROUP
Oooohhh that almost sounds right....
scary stuff when I really think about it but
I have enough knowledge to understand that
this is not something that is decided easily.
So I pray that this thing is not as bad as being predicted.
I hope that those poor people of the little bayous of
Morgan City, Boutte, Larose, all those small underlying towns
that, instead of enjoying a beautiful Saturday morning,
are packing their most prized possessions,
pictures, letters, things that are really important,
can understand the need to do this and can be forgiving.
It definitely makes me rethink the idea of the dream
of a lake house.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
I received a call from one of my dear friends,
Pat Vizier on Monday asking for help for a
benefit for Karen Terrebonne Callais.
Just speaking of Karen brought back many memories.
You see Karen, although older than me,
was raised in "our neighborhood"
old Dursette Lane.
Her parents were the last owners of the famous
Ms. Lorraine and Mr. Nolty
always had one child that was close to one of
my siblings ages so their family was intertwined in the
Collins kids however by the time I came along,
Ms. Lorraine had put up her baby making process.
Karen married Kim when they were really young
and moved in an apartment down Dursette lane.
Although they were older than us younger kids,
their apartment was always open to anyone who wanted
to hang out. Many afternoons we would ride our bikes
to the back of the street to just see what Kim and Karen
Karen has been battling cancer now for many years
and her condition has worsened and the prognosis is
not good but she continues to "keep on keeping on"
Pat and her husband, Brent have decided to help
Kim and Karen with some of the financial burdens
that follow the big C!
Brent is an awesome chef and on June 5th
will be cooking a chicken spaghetti with all the proceeds going
to the Karen Callais foundation.
There will also be a silent auction and raffles are being sold
for a dollar a piece.
If you have never eaten any of Chef Brent's cooking you
are in for a real treat if you buy a ticket for only 7 dollars!
I, myself, plan on spending the day on June 5th in my
old family town of Golden Meadow to help one of our own.
Looking forward to seeing many old friends and family.
If you can help out in any way, be it buying or selling
raffles, making or donating something for the silent auction,
or just enjoying a meal cooked by Chef Brent,
all will be appreciated!
Kiss your kids today,
as for me, I am heading to Plaquemine...
(thanks bfob for the word, jill-axing)
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
THAT PLACE that you go to
when the alarm goes off but your body
isn't quite awake yet.
This morning I was in that dreamy place and in
those 5 or 10 minutes I dreamed that THOSE PEOPLE
were trying to remove the letter Z from the alphabet.
Do not ask me why these kinds of things are what I
find in THAT PLACE but it was so real.
Before you go jumping to conclusions thinking
that no way could they rid the alphabet of the letter Z,
that the English language could not exist without the
letter Z lets not forget that THOSE PEOPLE
removed Pluto as a planet and change the history
of Science books forever.
THOSE PEOPLE also removed the color indigo
from the rainbow. ROYGBIV is
is now just ROYGBV
So in case you should hear of this being a real thing
to happen, removing the letter Z please, lets start
a boycott right away. What will we call the zoo or a zebra?
Not to mention what will it do to the ABC song.
Y does not rhyme with
"Now I know my ABC's, tell me what you think of me?"
Sunday, May 8, 2011
It may be a long, long time from now when I figure out
why I have been so lucky to be the Momma to the
two amazing children that call me Momma.
That they have, even through rough times, been
connected to me and I to them.
To have been told for many years that I would never
have children then to find myself with two of what I
believe to be the most amazing people calling me momma,
well it sometimes blows my mind.
Because of this life I have been given,
my children have had these two women to call their
They were polar opposites of each other but I
believe that each of them have had a part in the
people my babies are now.
... and this mother, oh this mother who has been my rock
for many years.
I know that I learned how to be a mother mostly from this
woman and from my older siblings who also all had
something to do with the woman I am today.
This Mother was the best for me.
She never allowed me to feel sorry for myself,
but never let me forget how lucky I was.
Because of the beauty of being a Mother myself,
I have had the honor to call Kd my daughter-in-law.
Because of her wonderful upbringing this grandbaby of
ours will be so darn blessed.
I watch her with her little baby daughter, my son's child
and I am so thankful that she is the Mother to our Jilly-bean.
I hope that Baby boy understands what a prize he got when
Kd became his wife, mostly because of the way she
mothers his child. That he can go away for two weeks to work
and not worry a bit about the welfare of his baby girl.
I hope I gave HOBL this same reassurance as he found himself
away from our own children for half of their lives.
So to these two sweet babies of mines,
again I say,
The best job I feel I have ever done was being y'all mother.
More joy has been brought to my life by you two
than from any other thing in my life.
On this Mothers Day I salute you two because
without being your mother my life would have never been complete,
never have been fulfilling.
Happy Mothers Day to all
Saturday, May 7, 2011
To My baby girl:
Remember many years ago when Reba McIntire
came out with the song I'll be.
We would listen to it in the car and sing loudly.
We called it our song.
I sang it because I really wanted you to know
that it was how I felt about us.
That no matter what I would always be there for you,
to love you, to be your biggest hero.
I'll BE BY REBA MCINTIRE
WHEN DARKNESS FALLS UPON YOUR HEART AND SOUL
I'LL BE THE LIGHT THAT SHINES FOR YOU
WHEN YOU FORGET HOW BEAUTIFUL YOU ARE
I'LL BE THERE TO REMIND YOU
WHEN TROUBLE COMES AROUND
I WILL COME TO YOU
I'LL BE YOUR SHOULDER
WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE TO LEAN ON
BE YOUR SHELTER WEHN YOU NEED
SOMEONE TO SEE YOU THROUGH
I'LL BE THERE TO CARRY YOU
I'LL BE THERE
I'LL BE THE ROCK THAT WILL BE STRONG FOR YOU
THE ONE THAT WILL HOLD ON TO YOU
WHEN YOU FEEL THE RAIN FALLING DOWN
WHEN THERE'S NOBODY ELSE AROUND,
AND WHEN YOU'RE WITH NO ONE THERE TO HOLD
I'LL BE THE ARMS THAT REACH FOR YOU
AND WHEN YOUR FAITH IS RUNNING LOW
I'LL BE THERE TO BELIEVE IN YOU
WHEN ALL YOU FIND ARE LIES
I'LL BE THE TRUTH YOU NEED
WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE TO RUN TO
YOU CAN RUN TO ME
I'LL BE THE SUN
WHEN YOUR HEART IS FILLED WITH RAIN
I'LL BE THE ONE TO CHASE THE RAIN AWAY
I'LL BE THERE.
I'LL BE THERE.
Some things never change.
I'll be there for ever and always.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
After spending the whole day with this angel baby
I know everything about her.
I know every crease and crevice.
I know that if you put her on her changing table she
will coo and smile for you while you talk to her.
I know that she does not like her diaper changed
unless it is full of poop.
I know she likes outside and follows the sounds of the birds.
I know she recognizes her Mommy's voice from
wherever it comes in the house.
I know how to fix her bottles and how she likes to be fed.
I know how to burp her in hopes that her reflux
does not make her spit up half her feedings.
I know how to put her to sleep and if she refuses
the pacifier she will definitely settle for your pinkie finger
just like Princess Di settled her own baby boys.
I know her favorite place to sleep is in her Mommy and DeDa's bed.
As she and I laid in that bed for an afternoon nap
I stared at her beautiful face and
I realized that I want to know her this well for her whole life.
As she grows she will change as she does now so quickly..
I want to be the Mumsie that knows all her favorite stuff.
Knows what comforts her, knows her secrets.
It will never be as simple as it is now to know all about her
yet I want to. I want to be the soft place she can land
when things aren't going her way.
As soft as that mattress of her parents is right now.
I simply love her in a way that I didn't think
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Monday, May 2, 2011
You can call me a bad Catholic or an honest Catholic
but there is no way that I believe that my precious Jillian Grace,
had she died before baptism, would have found herself unable
to get into the gates of Heaven.
This innocent and most perfect child would not only have
been allowed but God would have been waiting for her with
No way that God would hold against her, the original
sin that she had nothing to do with. I believe this
to be the "hogwash" of our faith.
Yet, I do believe in the tradition of baptism.
It is in these traditions that I continue to love my Catholic faith.
To be reminded by Katie's cousin, Father Jason
what a blessing a child is, a true miracle is what
us as a family needs to be reminded of now and through
each of the sacraments our little girl will make.
Of course, I cried. The words of baptism always
get me. To see my children, even though it means very little
to them right now, recite the baptismal rites reminds me
of when I did the very same thing at their own baptism.
I am all about traditions and for our little baby to
have her head covered with the holy water in the same place
that her own mother was baptized also touches me.
... and as usual, the Mother and father prayer always, always
makes me cry. It reminds these parents as well as all of
us who were there to watch just how lucky
both of them are but the actual hard job they will
be faced with by raising children who are good and responsible.
How they are praised for bringing a child into the world
just as God planned a marriage to do,
bring children into the world.
I dreamed of Baby boy the night before baptism. He was about
9 in the dream but he was just like he was at 9.
He was a sweet child, he was getting ready for school and was late
and was worried about being late but didn't leave without
giving his momma a kiss and a hug and saying he loved her.
It is what I thought about as I saw him holding his little
girl with his wife at his side.
The little boy he was, not the man who stands before me now.
It is what my heart sees each time I am with him.
I can be a Catholic without believing all that it teaches.
I can do this because my God knows that it is not a religion
that will get me to Him but the kind of person I am.
I believe the same for my children.
They are good people, wonderful people.
Yet I am so glad that although they do not believe in
the same things that their Catholic faith teach
that they want to go through with the sacraments as
baptism for their little ones.
I am reminded, once again how much I love my faith,
and also reminded, once again, just how fortunate we all
are to have our Jillian Grace to bless our lives.
That God chose this one to be ours, to love,
to teach all about Him.
Sunday, May 1, 2011
I have been a little "under the weather"
so haven't posted much lately.
This week however, was a sleep over with
my Breausky. The name I choose to call the
miracle child that I have befriended since she
was a 3 year old entering my school 6 years ago.
She no longer comes to my school but she and I,
well we remain a part of each others lives.
This child came to me at TES at only 3 years
old having survived a childhood disability that no one
thought she could survive.
She came to me with a tube feeding in her nose
that required full time feedings.
she had a colostomy and needed daily catherizations
four times a day. Many at school were against her starting.
The meeting before her starting was filled with many fears
about whether or not she was stable enough to be in school.
Yet her mom, her advocate, fought for her and won.
I, at the meeting shared, that I was on her side.
From the very first time I read her case I had a bond to her.
Through her I was able to see my own childhood again
where the odds were against me and yet I trudged on.
Our bond has continued and over the last 6 years she
has gone from a little toddler who could do nothing of
her medical care to a 9 year old who now understands
and can take care of most of her medical needs.
When I am with her, I am with my childhood self and
we do lots of discussing about that.
Her life is complicated and yet she knows no other life.
She wants no sympathy as she keeps up with her twin brother
as they ride 4 wheelers, play ball.
She does whatever he does, sometimes even before her
brother can master the skill.
She is a miracle and she is my hero.
I am one of the few places she can sleep over as
her medical needs are those that must be fulfilled
by someone who is trained.
Every time she spends time here I learn something about
life and I learn something about myself.
(written with her mothers permission)