DUET TRIBUTE

I have tried to write this blog for over a week.

I have had the family's permission for days

and still, I just can't seem to find the words,

the words to say what is in my heart when I think

of sweet Stephen and his family's loss.

Last night while saying my prayers I realize

it is because there are no words good enough

to explain this child, this family.

So today, I go on a limb and write.

I will not think I will just type and pray my words

will do justice to the one we all know and love

as STEPHEN DUET.

The loss of a young one is never easy.

It being one you watched grow up and

stayed close to he and his family make it harder.

I can only attribute it to being like when we 

lost our dear Robert at the age of 21 

to meningitis. MY heart hurt so much for 

both of these deaths, felt like I was burying my own child

and yet I know that for as hard as it was for me,

it was 20 times more painful for his parents, sister,

brother in law, more than a girlfriend, grandparents

and the slew of cousins and family who adored

Stephen. Out of their whole family who I lived

next to for 10 years as Stephen grew up,

I was the closest and remain close to his sister, Katie.

We call her Katie the neighbor in my family as

she helped us so much when Mom was at 

St. Joseph Manor. 

This girl, Katie, adored her little brother and

in texting with her this week she says

they are trying to begin to live their lives

without their Stephen but it is hard...

I think of his parents but mostly his Momma lately.

I just don't see anything natural in a parent burying

their child. Donna, his momma was so overprotective and

we all teased her on how Stephen was a Momma's boy.

I can't even begin to know how she feels.

Warren, their father, as usual, at the funeral

was saying things to comfort us all.

As he hugged me tightly as I spilled tears on

his lapel he says,

"Only thing I would do different had I known we would

loose him would have been to spend more time with him"

To those of us who knew the dynamics of this family,

that sentence woulds seem absurbed. 

Warren and Donna are those parents who do everything

with their children. It was nothing to watch Warren 

playing basketball with Stephen daily.

No father or mother I know did more for the 

betterment of their family.

I am so proud to call them friends.

Now to try and explain our Stephen.

When we moved to Lee Drive, 

he was a cute, shy, small 9 year old.

He talked very little and my gypsy baby took this

as a way to tease him to no end. She bribed a picture

of him from his sister and placed it on her wall 

and told him she kissed and looked at it daily

and was his girlfriend and one day they would marry.

this poor pre teen boy was driven crazy by my children

yet he just smiled. Can you imagine the year

he had to ride to EDW with gypsy and her

friends in the morning.

Hurricane Katrina really brought us closer as

they spent two nights with us in our living room

where we had a generator and an air conditioner.

It was such a wonderful time for Lee Drive.

That sounds crazy with all the tragedy Katrina brought with

it, but it also had some good to it. Our neighborhood

had no electricity for 10 days and most of us could

not go to work so we would cook and eat together,

and at night, the Duet's spent the night with us.

We talked and laughed so much until all of us

would finally fall asleep. The night the electricity came back on,

we were settling for the night, it was about 10 pm

when we saw the streetlight come on, we all went

out to celebrate but I know in some ways we were all

a little sad, our gatherings would end and it did,

but the closeness we shared did not end.

Katie and I started scrapping, crafting together,

we were close and remain that way.

What happened with Stephen over the last few years?

He went from the cute shy little blonde boy

to a man, a man with the best sense of humor

who adored his family as much as they all did him.

Through the last few years, with Katie and Brent

getting engaged then married, then pregnancy and

the birth of sweet Addie Mae, I saw lots of all of them

as well as Stephen. Such a handsome boy.

When their grandmother, Warren's mom passed away,

I was fortunate to meet sweet Camille, Stephen's girlfriend.

I was amazed, she was beautiful and there was no doubt

in my heart that these two were together till the end.

I just never believed the end would be so soon.

Each time, during the funeral when Father would say,

Stephen's girlfriend, I felt like standing and screaming,

"She was more than a girlfriend"

All of us knew Steve-O had found the love of his life.

Gypsy still teased him when she had the opportunity 

but it didn't bother him anymore, he loved it actually.

He was a Momma's boy and proud of it.

But he was not just a Momma's boy,

he was a Daddy's boy, a sisters boy,

a best friend to his brother in law, Brent and

the love of Camille's life.

Not to mention, his sweet Addie Mae,

who he is godfather to. During the eulogy,

a cousin, somehow, was able to get up there and

read tributes from Camille, Katie and his parents.

In each letter, they spoke of how much he loved

this baby of Katie and Brent.

Camille said it best when she shared how Stephen told

her he could not believe how something so little could

steal his heart and love and how he could

not wait until she was older to watch his favorite

movie, THE LION KING together.

Stephen had just finished college and belonged

to the same fraternity his bro in law was in, SAE.

Katie and Brent were very active as all their best friends

were in this group when they were in college so it was

a happy day for all of them when Stephen pledged into

the same Frat.

Katie will tell you, it is in this group that this child

grew into a man. Unlike most fraternities, SAE,

from the little I know of it, is not about partying so 

much as it is doing for others, paying it forward.

No one at Stephens funeral could not be touched

by this over 100 young men gathered in this church

to say goodbye to one of their own, a fallen brother.

Their motto was read during the eulogy from Katie's letter

with the stand out word being "gentlemen"

That they were. Each one of these young adults along

with their girlfriends, fiance's, wives, spoke to this grieving 

family. I am sure each one of them had a story to tell of

their Stephen. They filled the church of St. Genevieve to capacity

along with all of us others who loved him dearly.

You see this fraternity does not end when you graduate

from college, they are brothers forever.

It was the most inspiring thing I have ever witnessed at

a funeral. It gave me hope for the future.

I want to say a few words about my Katie the neighbor.

When I say she and I were close is an understatement.

Many years between us, I could have been her mother

but we are friends, bonded forever by the years we 

were neighbors and the long nights we scrapped together.

We scrapped and talked, a lot.

When we moved to Plaquemine, it is Katie who followed 

Ron and I to our new home to help us clean

and move. Since then she has spent many days with me,

she is an exceptional girl who always kept our

neighborhood up to date on what was going on.

She is a girl like no other.

On her wedding day, with all she had to do,

she was so saddened that her paternal grandmother,

who was over 90 and bedridden by this time would not

make her wedding that she went to the nursing home and

spent hours with her grandmother before starting her

day. I know of very few women such as this.

I watched my sweet Katie and the funeral of her brother,

hold herself together, strong like her Daddy and

I knew she was breaking inside. She was so close to her

little brother, overprotective of him just as her mother was.

I realized that day that she may be the picture of her

mother at that age, but she has the strength of 

her father as she comforted others on the worst day

of her life. I adore this child almost as my own.

Stephen is gone, ahead of his family to the place we 

all like to call Heaven. His godchild, our Addie Mae,

will never know him the way we all did but I have no

doubt that family will forever talk to her about

her godfather to the point that she will believe she

knew him well. I have heard there is no sense of

time in Heaven, so what seems like an eternity of loss

to us, to go on without our "Scooter Steve" as my kids

called him, he will not long for us as we for him.

He has gone ahead to make the way for his family.

It makes me want, more than ever to get back to 

the closeness I once had with my God.

I have been lax in my faith since my separation.

Stephen's death has me wanting that back,

and I will get it, because I want to be a part of this

childs eternity. So, even though this may not be enough,

may not be fitting enough for what the Duet's lost

that day Stephen went ahead, I hope they gain some

comfort from my words knowing they are so loved

not only by me, but many people as was seen in that

church that was standing room only.

Let me say, as hard as that day was for them, for all

of us, their pain has just begun as they try and

move on living a life minus one, the one

who kept them laughing. Our lives will be easier

to move on, so let us all remember them all in prayer

and thoughts. Send a card, speak of Stephen when you 

see them. Often we believe that it is easier for the families

if we not bring up their loved ones names but in 

reality it gives them comfort. I am sure they

do not want Stephen to be forgotten.

They have empty rooms in their homes where his 

prescence is still felt although he no longer is there.

Memories and momento's of him that will be 

found on a day just when they think they are 

a little better. Time does help some but just 

like the waves of tides, it will slow down and

they will feel like it is better then something will

come up, a birthday, a holiday or maybe just a card

he sent to one of them, and the waves will rush over

them once again bringing back their loss just as the

first day they left them. Pray and think of his

"more than a girlfriend" Camille as I just know

she and he talked of marriage often.

I know her plans were to marry and love this

young man eventually. She will eventually move on,

in time, but a piece of her heart will forever belong to

Stephen. I will end this with two thoughts,

remember these are the harder times for them all,

make it known to them that we have not forgotten 

their loss and their pain. Send a card, call them,

send them a meal. Last but definitely not least,

lets all gain comfort from the part of the eulogy read,

written by sweet Camille:

She spoke of how Stephen hated to see her sad, 

stressed or cry so in those times of need he would have her

say,

"I AM CAMILLE AND I AM STRONG"

He would have her say it over and over until it

sounded strong enough for him and until

she believed it to be true.

So I say to all of us who love Steve-o and his

family,

"....AND WE ARE STRONG"

As Katie the neighbor sent me in a text the other day,

We are all going to try and go back to work/school today

as Stephen would want it that way.

So should we all try and move on but pray not for

Stephen because there is no doubt where he is

but for all of us who love our

STEPHEN DUET.

Stephen and HIS Camille

 Katie the neighbor, my dear friend, at her engagement party.

The Duet family at Baby boy and Kd's wedding..

Stephen sitting with thumbs up, reminding us

all, we gunna be A-ok, in time...