Thursday, October 22, 2015
I have been incognito for a bit,
an access thought to be caused by a spider bite
has had me a tad miserable the last few days,
but today, much better thanks to a trip to the ER
Dept. here in Plaq.
The peace I speak of?
I have finally closed on the big house Ron and I
bought when we moved here to be close
Sold to the cutest little couple so excited to be entering
this part of their lives as homeowners.
For myself, a big relief to no longer have to worry
about this big home that deserves to be loved.
I know they will take it from a house to a home.
Then, because of this sale I was able to pay
off the cottage and that is the best feeling ever!
Ron and I have paid off many homes in the past
together but this is the first time I had to
opportunity to do it all by myself and it feels good.
Good to be independent when it comes to the finances
of my future. I will say again, it is because of the hard
work of Ron and I, starting with nothing at the ages
of 15 and 17 when we started dating
to get where we are today.
Yet, this cottage is mine, solely for me, in
my name and I remain in love.
Some mornings I awaken in my comfortable bed
and realize this is all for me.
Thank you Big Man for the sale of the home,
thank to me and Ron for the saving we started
even when we were broke,
thanks to have found a home that suits me perfectly
and I owe nothing to no one.
Best feeling ever! Now on to other things,
joining to Plaquemine theater group.
Don't know yet whether I will try out for a part or
just help on the back parts for now,
but it is on the bucket list, to belong to a theater group.
Excited about the prospect,
Stay tuned for more on that.
Saturday, October 17, 2015
My baby girl, known here as Gypsy baby,
Turns 26 today.....
It is hard to believe, I feel too young to have a
26 year old baby.
Yet in my heart, this child will always be that
little curly top baby that was born to me
on this day in 1989.
Although she was an independent child.
She was a little Momma's girl.
I can explain how close we have been by telling
a tale of when she was the ages 2 to 4.
I didn't work full time but worked flex nights
at Lady of the Sea for extra money when Ronnie
was home. Our reasons for working only then
was so that Gypsy baby could stay with Ron
while I slept the day after working all night.
I would get off work at 7, get her brother off
to school and head to bed to sleep.
Ronnie would find her sitting by my bedroom
door quietly coloring or looking at books.
So quiet that I never heard her.
Once Ron came to tell me and
"Mommy, can I come in your bed with you,
I will be very quiet"
After that day, that is what she would do,
Crawl into my bed with her books
and lay quietly as I slept until her
Daddy would come get her for lunch.
Oh just remembering those days
makes me lonely for the times when she was just
a baby. No baby to the world anymore.
She is a working girl who is also returning
to college to finish her degree in English.
Another thing I will always remember and never
forget, her actual birthday.
felt no one should work on their birthday
even though I have worked many of my own.
Not for my gal, though.
Once she started school, I back to work full time
we always both played hooky from school/work.
Then we were on for the adventure.
Some birthdays I would let her plan the outing,
other times I planned and surprised.
I will always hold these days close to my heart
as now, since she no longer lives under
my roof and is usually either working or at school,
our time together is so minimal.
But today is her special day.
So as I awaken early to bake her
birthday cookies that I mixed yesterday,
I plan on spending the day....
with my beautiful woman-child.
Her love, Kayshara at work
so will be her and I,
birthday cookies, a love note and lunch
and a movie are in the plans
as another thing we have always enjoyed together,
My wishes for you, my baby,
I wish you finish your degree with cool breezes ahead.
I wish you and your love continue to work together
to make the best future for you both.
I wish that life remains for you, interesting both in the
good and the bad.
I wish that you and your Dad remain close as he maintains
his sobriety and a big part of your life.
I wish we both have more time together.
and being Corny here....
WHEN YOU GET THE CHANCE, YOU DANCE
Don't let anyone or any circumstance knock out
your child ways, never too old to do kid stuff.
That even on bad days, you find something to
Most importantly that you know, no matter what,
you have unconditional love from your Mommy.
Your not always, silent cheerleader.
I love you my dear baby girl!
Sunday, October 11, 2015
I know over the last few weeks, I have spoken on
topics that people may say are just too sad,
focusing on loss instead of my usual positive nature,
yet, as I told Baby boy when he pointed this out to me,
I can't change what life throws us,
I am the type that to get through something hard,
I talk about it, blog about it,
It is Cathartic for me.
Today however, I blog about my cousin, Fay's funeral/party.
You think you know somebody pretty good
trough your life, even though you don't see them often,
you keep in touch, you attend the family gatherings
that she plans.
Then you attend her funeral and are given the honor
of going up to the altar not just to read a reading
but to pay honor and tribute to who Fay was to you.
Stephanie, Fay's daughter is the epitome of what
a daughter should be.
You see, when our own Mom was passing,
I have 4 sisters to help.
Steph, never left her Mothers side unless
it was absolutely necessary.
As I wrote in my last blog,
she smiled that big beautiful smile through her tears.
This tribute to Fay, laying her to rest
was one of the best I have been to.
The immediate family was insistent that
get your tears out because after we having a party.
That we did, we all met at a restaurant called
N'toni's where they had reserved half the place for
us, had a buffet style setting and a large screen just
full of pictures of Fay through many aspects of her life.
When going to one of Fay's gatherings, you never left
empty handed, always had food to bring home,
Following up with that her family had a table
with a framed paragraph explaining how she always
did this so for her last "Hurrah" we were to fill a bag
with treats to bring home.
It was all so beautiful, and like all funerals,
you hate knowing you have to go but once
you are there, you can't imagine not have gone.
MY cousins, first and second and even third cousins
made a tribute that Faye would be proud of!
Her sweet Hubby, Billy was so happy to see so many
as was Stephanie and Shana, her adopted daughter.
MY heart went out to my sweet and loving
Aunt GaGald, saying goodbye to her first born,
yes she cried much as every time someone new would
greet her, she cried, but being in her late 80's
and having lived with Fay and Billy many years,
she, at the after party, said,
"Thank you all for coming and for this day,
the rest of it, I am having a good time"
and we all did.
thanks to all my dear cousins for allowing
me the special honor of being a part of Fay's life
and death. She lives on in all of us!
Friday, October 9, 2015
I have tried to write this blog for almost a week.
My dear cousin died last Saturday, peacefully,
in her home, surrounded by those who loved her
with her home decorated for Christmas, her very favorite
time of year.
When reading of people who say they have gone to
Heaven and ventured back to life on Earth,
they say there are no human words good enough to
explain what Heaven looks like.
I feel this way about Fay,
there are no words in the human language good enough
to explain what she was, is to us all,
but I shall try as she was my biggest, silent fan.
When I went more than a week without blogging,
I was sure to get a Private message from her saying,
"Girl you need to blog!"
To not have that ever again, shocks me when I think of it.
For this week, I have many times able to forget that
she is no longer on Earth with us.
Tomorrow, will be one of the hardest days for
the COLLINS, GRIFFIN, FINNAN families.
You see, if you were raised in a big family,
as most of my Dad's siblings had,
there is that one who we all look up to as a second mom.
The one you call in the middle of the night
because you are sick. The one who has you at her
house on Sundays after church for the day,
the one who schedules gatherings to get together.
Our family sibling is Veronica, known as Ronnie to us.
Fay was this person to her family, her siblings, even the
She was so much more than words can say.
Always smiling, last year, a gathering at her house
to celebrate the end of her treatments for lung cancer,
was a blow out, with so many of us gathering,
no one wanting to leave, Because of her,
we gathered as a family.
Tomorrow because of her, we shall gather again,
but for very different reasons, to say goodbye
and I am not sure I am ready for that.
When going through childhood cancer back in 1968,
going to New Orleans for treatment was like
going to New York for older parents who rarely ventured
far from the bayou Lafourche.
So Fay and her family, her Mom, Aunt GAGAld,
took us all in. Her children gave us the privacy,
slept on floors and sofas to make us comfortable.
Fay was also so much more than that.
When my Uncle Joe died, leaving behind my Aunt Mae Mae
with 6 children ranging from 17 to 18 months,
Fay was godmother to my cousin, Shana.
At that time her hubby, Billy had no children
and Shana became her baby,
while my Aunt Mae Mae busted butt to raise
these children as a single parent,
Shana was spoiled rotten by Fay.
WE laugh often that she loved Shana more than her
own child, Stephanie who came a few years later,
an only child, except for Shana, of course.
Now Steph, I can only imagine what Steph and her Dad,
Billy are going through. If my feelings are so hard,
imagine theirs. To have had a Mother so great as Fay,
you may feel how in the heck can you go on,
but Stephanie has so much of her parents in her,
I know she will go on, she will cry through that big
and beautiful smile of hers because her Mother taught
her how to laugh in spite of the rain,
taught her that although we will all miss her,
time on Earth will one day end for us all,
and we will all be gathered.
Her siblings, Dela and Bert,
having already lost on sibling, Dwayne,
must also be heartbroken.
When you loose the sibling who keeps us together,
its not the easiest, however,
I know we all find some comfort knowing
her little brother, who we and Fay all loved so much,
was there waiting for her, as well as her Daddy,
My parents, Uncle Joe.... so many, so many
to guide her through her new home.
I cannot end this blog without talking about
sweet Victoria, her one grandaughter who she
spoiled rotten, who lived in the same yard as
Fay growing up. If I can be only have the Mumsie
she was Granny to Victoria, I will have done something great.
I know Victoria is broken but she will get through
this because her own Granny taught her so much
including knowing about God and that we shall
all be together another time.
Then my dear Aunt Glorice, Aunt Ga Gald to us all.
She plans to bury her second child.
So often we hear, no parent should bury a child,
to have buried two, and one being Fay, it just
does not seem fair. I love this family so much.
I can never repay any of them for what they did
for my family in our time of need, for the love
they have given all of us through the years.
It is so like Fay to go first,
You know she has to plan the party and spot
for each of us for when our time comes.
I sometimes wonder how can we go on
and the next minute I think that how much easier
it will be when my time comes to say goodbye to this
life that not only my parents but cousin Fay will be there.
I have not planned these words, and will not go back
and read it as nothing will be enough and yet somewhere I have
to end. I will end asking for prayers for us all
for tomorrow, our last day to see our family as one
with Fay, but she will always live in each of us, forever.
To have lost one of my biggest fans of the blog,
I will continue it because I know she probably is now
able to see me as I sit here and type.
I am honored that their family has asked me to read
at her gathering that we choose to call a
celebration of her life.
Again no words are good enough to explain
the feelings I have about having been asked
to play a part of her mass.
Pray for us all, as we all will have different emotions going
through our heart and heads.
Love to all.