Friday, October 9, 2015


I have tried to write this blog for almost a week.
My dear cousin died last Saturday, peacefully,
in her home, surrounded by those who loved her
with her home decorated for Christmas, her very favorite
time of year. 
When reading of people who say they have gone to
Heaven and ventured back to life on Earth,
they say there are no human words good enough to
explain what Heaven looks like.
I feel this way about Fay,
there are no words in the human language good enough
to explain what she was, is to us all,
but I shall try as she was my biggest, silent fan.
When I went more than a week without blogging,
I was sure to get a Private message from her saying,
"Girl you need to blog!"
To not have that ever again, shocks me when I think of it.
For this week, I have many times able to forget that
she is no longer on Earth with us.
Tomorrow, will be one of the hardest days for
You see, if you were raised in a big family,
as most of my Dad's siblings had,
there is that one who we all look up to as a second mom.
The one you call in the middle of the night
because you are sick. The one who has you at her
house on Sundays after church for the day,
the one who schedules gatherings to get together.
Our family sibling is Veronica, known as Ronnie to us.
Fay was this person to her family, her siblings, even the
extended family.
She was so much more than words can say.
Always smiling, last year, a gathering at her house
to celebrate the end of her treatments for lung cancer,
was a blow out, with so many of us gathering,
no one wanting to leave, Because of her,
we gathered as a family.
Tomorrow because of her, we shall gather again,
but for very different reasons, to say goodbye
and I am not sure I am ready for that.
When going through childhood cancer back in 1968,
going to New Orleans for treatment was like
going to New York for older parents who rarely ventured
far from the bayou Lafourche.
So Fay and her family, her Mom, Aunt GAGAld,
took us all in. Her children gave us the privacy,
slept on floors and sofas to make us comfortable.
Fay was also so much more than that.
When my Uncle Joe died, leaving behind my Aunt Mae Mae
with 6 children ranging from 17 to 18 months,
Fay was godmother to my cousin, Shana.
At that time her hubby, Billy had no children
and Shana became her baby,
while my Aunt Mae Mae busted butt to raise
these children as a single parent,
Shana was spoiled rotten by Fay.
WE laugh often that she loved Shana more than her
own child, Stephanie who came a few years later,
an only child, except for Shana, of course.
Now Steph, I can only imagine what Steph and her Dad,
Billy are going through. If my feelings are so hard, 
imagine theirs. To have had a Mother so great as Fay,
you may feel how in the heck can you go on,
but Stephanie has so much of her parents in her,
I know she will go on, she will cry through that big
and beautiful smile of hers because her Mother taught 
her how to laugh in spite of the rain,
 taught her that although we will all miss her,
time on Earth will one day end for us all,
and we will all be gathered.
Her siblings, Dela and Bert,
having already lost on sibling, Dwayne,
must also be heartbroken.
When you loose the sibling who keeps us together,
its not the easiest, however,
I know we all find some comfort knowing
her little brother, who we and Fay all loved so much,
was there waiting for her, as well as her Daddy,
My parents, Uncle Joe.... so many, so many 
to guide her through her new home.
I cannot end this blog without talking about
sweet Victoria, her one grandaughter who she
spoiled rotten, who lived in the same yard as
Fay growing up. If I can be only have the Mumsie
she was Granny to Victoria, I will have done something great.
I know Victoria is broken but she will get through 
this because her own Granny taught her so much
including knowing about God and that we shall
all be together another time.
Then my dear Aunt Glorice, Aunt Ga Gald to us all.
She plans to bury her second child.
So often we hear, no parent should bury a child,
to have buried two, and one being Fay, it just
does not seem fair. I love this family so much.
I can never repay any of them for what they did
for my family in our time of need, for the love
they have given all of us through the years.
It is so like Fay to go first,
You know she has to plan the party and spot
for each of us for when our time comes.
I sometimes wonder how can we go on
and the next minute I think that how much easier 
it will be when my time comes to say goodbye to this
life that not only my parents but cousin Fay will be there.
I have not planned these words, and will not go back 
and read it as nothing will be enough and yet somewhere I have
to end. I will end asking for prayers for us all
for tomorrow, our last day to see our family as one
with Fay, but she will always live in each of us, forever.
To have lost one of my biggest  fans of the blog,
I will continue it because I know she probably is now
able to see me as I sit here and type.
I am honored that their family has asked me to read 
at her gathering that we choose to call a 
celebration of her life.
Again no words are good enough to explain
the feelings I have about having been asked
to play a part of her mass.
Pray for us all, as we all will have different emotions going 
through our heart and heads.
Love to all.

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