I was never afraid of being the Mother of a Gay child.....

.....Until now.

The massacre that took place in Orlando,

I hope touched many more people than just

the gay community and the families who loved them

It was my very own gay child, now 27, who told me

about it. I would have preferred to keep on my rose

colored glasses and yet, this could have happened

to me, just because my very own baby girl is gay.

How can I ignore that?

I have often said, 

"God gave me these two children to love them,

that is it, love them unconditionally no judgement barred.

Yet after this weekend, I am a terrified Mom.

I and my gypsy baby have been long time

lovers of Anderson Cooper, gay in his own right

yet so well known in the news community.

To watch his video as he tries to read the names

of the deceased through tears.

I watch and I get teary-eyed and many thoughts go

through my head and most importantly my heart....

and then I became AFRAID.

For the first time since my gypsy told me she was gay,

I had not had this type of fear.

YEs, I had fear for her to find a true and lasting love,

being gay makes this a little harder,

I was afraid that life would always be a tad harder for her

than straight kids and then I changed my thinking.

Our world has come a long way since my sister in law

came out in the 80's. What happened in Orlando

changed that, I am now in fear for my child and

all those other childrens' parents, like me,

who love them unconditionally.

I am so disappointed in our country.

We take one step forward by legalizing gay marriages

and 5 steps back. Yes, it was one hater who did the shooting

but so many jumped on the band wagon of what he did was

correct. Even heard a preachers sermon on Sunday saying

we should do like other countries and line all the gays

up and shoot them all. I mean this is a preacher,

who is supposed to be preacher love, not hate.

I will end with the fact that many people are suffering 

right now by the hands of one crazy person but lets

not be fooled thinking he is the only one with those same

feelings. 

I love, adore, both my children, my love for them

has not changed since they were born,

it has been a while since fear crept in my thoughts

and yet, this has surely put fear back in my heart. 

I LIKE YOU FOREVER,

I LOVE YOU FOR ALWAYS,

AS LONG AS I'M LIVING MY BABY YOU'LL BE!