WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR SAINTS LAST NIGHT

Last night the babies and kd

finally gathered at their Riera home to

finally all be together for our Christmas gathering.

Just a small note to say, OMG.... Jilly Bean has

done some growing since the last time I saw her.

It is so amazing that in just 10 more weeks,

give or take a few, we will finally have Jilly here

with us and the anticipation of that is amazing.

Part of our Christmas gathering was to watch the

Saints game together....

OMG!

What in the world was that...

and then before you know it, we were out of

the chance of even coming close to the Superbowl.

Time spent with the babies though is never

wasted time....

And yes I have to admit, the camera once again

stayed in the purse.

This will be the first Christmas

there are no pictures.

Oh but do not worry,

that is not something I have put aside

for 2011 I will once again be the

aggravating family member with the camera

in my hand.

Just been a little under the weather.

Will be my obnoxious self again real, real soon.

SA 1/7

HOW HAPPY ARE YOU RIGHT NOW

HMmmmm..... lets see......

today my mind is clearer than it has

been in a long, long time.

I have made a decision, rereading

a book called

TAKING CONTROL OF YOUR CHRONIC PAIN.

There in this book I find again,

the answer for my future.

Do not know why I could not practice it

the first time I read the book,

Probably because I was trapped in all this

medical mumbo-jumbo

So today I am happy about the clear mind-set I have.

Tired of being the patient,

making a conscious effort to get off all medications

and take control of this life again.

A funny thing is happening with all of this.

Although the pain is there, it is not something I choose

to focus on every day.

Rather want to find the old me that was there

before this fall out of medical issues.

I will win back my life and I will be happy.

I also know today, that I will return to my career.

It has now become my goal.

I am not ready to give that part of myself up.

It may not be this school year, or maybe it will be

but I am going back.

Today we are called to put pen to paper and

journal. This is something I do daily lately.

Today, do you know what makes you happy?

SA 1/6

STANDING KNEE DEEP IN A RIVER

AND DYING OF THIRST

well, doesn't this title of a song by Kathy Mattea

say so much to us.

How often do we think of all the things we need

that we think will make us happy.

Oh, a new vehicle for me would be so much easier

to ride in, yet HOBL keeps telling me that

is not necessary, this one is paid for.

He is right you know.

Another material possession is not going

to make me any happier than spending time

with family and friends makes me.

I am one of those who is "standing knee deep"

in abundance.

I, just like most of us, sometimes forget to see it.

Especially this week when I am so confused about

what my future holds.

Yet I try to focus on the happiness I felt when on New Years Eve

I spent the evening with wonderful friends and family.

I want to try and focus on the fact that the times I was

the happiest in my life were longer lived when it was time

spent in deep thought with myself or time spent with

my family and friends.

When I spend too much time in solitude or with

just the immediate family I live with I start thinking

this is enough but for me I sometimes become bitter

and thinking that others have it better than me.

We all need the love and acceptance of more

than just those who live under our roof.

Last year I challenged myself to spend more time

with old friends or friends of work outside of work.

What I have gained from this is nothing a material

possession can give us.

This reading today is forcing us outside our box,

outside of our comfort zone.

Reach out today to someone you have not seen or spoken

to in some time... see how that makes you feel.

I promise you won't be disappointed.

hooked on puppies

When did the puppies become more than just puppies?

I swore this would not happen.

I mean really, they are just dogs....

Okay so last night, I decide I have got to try and get

some uninterrupted sleep if possible.

I decided that although all three sleep all night if in the

bed with me, I thought that surely part of me waking

up so often at night has got to be because of the

fact that three pups are taking my bed space.

I would find myself when waking up checking on

them like I used to check on the babies when they were

young, are they covered, are they asleep, do they

need the bathroom?

BG is home and because Jake, the oldest, adores her

and must sleep with her when she is home

I know that he will be spending the night with BG.

That leaves Trixie, the middle pup who is way too

attached to me and the baby, Jude.

I tell BG that those two mongrels are sleeping in their kennel.

When I say kennel I must say it is more like a

room. It is a 6 foot by 6 foot gated area

in our garage that is heated and air conditioned.

They do not suffer for anything but human

contact when in the kennel.

I place them in there at about 8pm and lay to watch

the People's choice award with BG at my side.

Then comes a longing cry from the baby.

I tell BG, I won't be able to do it.

I won't be able to leave them in there.

I tried, really I did.

Yet by the time the TV went off and I settled down

to read my ereader......

yes, they were in the bed with me.

I am way too attached to these pups.

Like when did I start worrying about their

welfare like children....

I must say though I did have the best night of sleep

than I have had in a few weeks so I can't blame

them for my poor sleeping.

Thankfully, HOBL is finally coming home today

so I can pass the baton on to him...

If you think I am attached,

you should see HOBL and how he loves these pups.

SA 1/5

THE WOMAN YOU WERE MEANT TO BE

Today this is what I needed to read.

I have been stuck in a sadness lately.

It has been because I was trying to make

long-term decisions about this surgery.

Making long-term decisions because of health reasons.

Some think it is time for me to hang up the nursing hat.

I could if I wanted to and I know the way I am now

I cannot return to work as of yet.

I have been discouraged because I thought after

8 weeks of this back surgery I would be all better.

Seeing Dr. Donner yesterday has given me a new

light. He is the expert on this type of surgery.

He thinks I am trying to make premature decisions

when I don't yet know exactly what the final outcome

will be with this surgery.

He assures me that just because I still have pain

does not mean that I always will.

He believes that sometimes the new pain is actually

a good sign that the bones are finally fusing together.

He advises me to start focusing more on getting

off some medications to see exactly how I feel off

of them.

It is my new goal. I will start to wean off medications

that I have needed.

In one more month I will have a CT scan to see exactly

what has happened with this surgery.

I am encouraged by the fact that he is not concerned

by the slowness of the healing.

He says some people take more time than others.

Today I will do what our reading speaks of.

Get rid of the "displacement of self"

Today we are to focus on who we are meant to be.

Learning again for the millionth time in my life....

to take one day at a time.