This is not a "get the violin" post.
It is not meant for sympathy, it's just a fact.
I am having to accept the fact that
my body will have to be allowed to slow down.
I, even at just 46, am coming to the realization
that my life is and will have to slow down.
My body is refusing to do what I need it to do.
The doctors tell me it is because of the damage
radiation and chemotherapy have done to my body
that makes me not able to do the things my head wants to.
I am not bitter, I know these things were necessary to save my life.
So my prayers are for acceptance,
not from others because I already have that.
Ronnie, my children, my family, they
ask nothing of me and understand what a bad day is.
The acceptance is for myself.
My head wants to do what my body either can't do
or pays for after.
Sometimes I fear that the moment I stop doing,
I will loose the worth and value I have placed on myself.
I want to understand and believe
that the DO-MORE-BETTER-FASTER approach to living
is what leads to physical, mental,emotional and spiritual imbalance.
It is also pretty rough on my body.
I now pray to my God for BALANCE.
Iyanla Vanzant, author
reminds me:
BALANCE DOES NOT REQUIRE ME TO DO
ANYTHING BETTER OR FASTER THAN ANYONE ELSE.
IT REQUIRES ONLY THAT I MAKE A CONSCIOUS EFFORT
TO ENJOY WHAT I AM DOING, AND THAT I LEARN
TO BE PRESENT IN EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE,
FOR SOME PORTION OF EVERYDAY THAT I AM ALIVE,
REST, WORK, PLAY, SERVE, LEARN, TEACH, GIVE, RECEIVE.
A LITTLE BIT OF THIS A LITTLE BIT OF THAT.
STOP WHEN I HAVE TO, GO WHEN I CAN.
SPEAK BUT ALSO LISTEN.
BALANCE IS THE KEY TO ENLIGHTENMENT
AND ENLIGHTENMENT IS THE KEY TO
SELF-VALUE AND SELF-WORTH.
I want to remember it is not how much I do in a day
that makes me who I am but how I do the
little things that make a difference in
my and others lives.
Why do I share this with you today?
Because all of us can use some balance in our lives
and permission to rest, have fun!
Love to all!
Oh, and where the heck is everybody??!!!
ReplyDeleteHere I am every day, pouring my heart to ya'll and no one but by ol'
faithful anonymous is commenting!
Come on people, wake up!!!!!!
Finally .... something to work with !! Yadda yadda yadda.. you're getting old ..... you're a survivor ... That's nice and sentimental and it yearns for a lovey dovey touchy response .............BUT .... GOOD OLD ANON would like to take a moment to reflect on the mug shot ... is that for a passport? or is it to send to some game show hoping to get on ?? Send that to Alaska so Uncle Ron can put it on his bed post! And I'll take the post under advisement ... maybe light a little candle for you ..... as I said in my last post ... go check in on that K kid see how his day is going and you'll realize you're the princess in your own life story..... and thank god for you b/c who would have been there to cast my arms??? Give uncle Ron a little smooch for me.
ReplyDeleteHow's this for balance .... Veronica takes a trip with CJ and they get busted by Florida Hwy Patrol.... held up for 10 hours with paperwork! Now that's BALANCE! Trailer too short... boat too long .... boat too high ... Nice and Balanced!
ReplyDelete----- Forget all that balance, cancer, radiation treatments, chemotherapy and all that other B.S. Dr.’s try to give us all the time so they can stay in business and make a fortune. I know what’s wrong with you Lil Sis. Take my word for it. The so called realization you are coming to know is that like the rest of your siblings, (who already know) you are getting OLDER. And you know what ??? You are just starting to feel the tip of the ice burg of what is to come. Worse is yet to come.
ReplyDelete----- Wait another 15 years when you are my age. Man, sometimes I have to sit on the side of the bed for 5 or 6 minutes before I can stand up. But of course, they do say that it’s not only the age but the mileage that counts. If that’s the case you don’t have enough time in you life to catch up on the mileage I have on this body of mine. I put myself through a lot already in my life time. I may have some time left but I sure don’t have much mileage left. (LOL)
----- But there is a bright side. From that picture, you posted you can’t possibly get much uglier then you are now even in your old age.
----- OK, I’m just kidding about all that. You know I love you and I think you are beautiful. Really.
----- But all seriousness aside. (LOL) But all kidding aside. You should do what ever you think or feel you should do or have to do to feel better and healthier. And you shouldn’t have to feel like you have to explain yourself to anyone or need anyone’s permission to do so. Sometimes I think all this blogging is too much work. (LOL) Do what you have to do Lil Sis and feel good about it. After all, you have done enough very good and wonderful things for a lot of people already in you life that people will never forget about.
----- And remember these words, Lilly’s getting older, Lilly’s getting older, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA.
----- That’s it for now. I’m gone.
----- L-U-A.
-------- Peter
----- P.S. Lilly, I do keep up with your blogs by reading them even if I don’t blog back. Sometimes I just don’t know how to respond or just don’t have anything to say on the matter.
----- TTFN
oh, no excuses!!!
ReplyDeleteI knew this one would get ya'll hopping!!!!!
way to wake all of you up!!!!
Mikie, you just wish you will look as good as me when you are my age, wait, you are my age, no, no sorry not yet.
Well, brother you are right I don't have the milage you have...
Everyday I manage to put my big girl panties on and go, it's when it stops that it is really rough,
however, like the blog suggests, it's a reminder to all of us,
balance is needed in every life, it is me who is the hardest on myself..
Yes, my dear mikie, I helped cast those little arms, shoulds casted that mouth!!!!
just joking, you know I love you big like the sky, all of you!!!
Hey, it's been a couple of days since I've been able to visit. Yea, Lil, no tears for you my dear. As the brothr says, It's just cause you getting old just like the rest of us. I knew it was gonna catch up to you and C one of these days. Now ya'll know what I mean when I say I'm tired, worn out and all I want to do is just go home and rest! I'm SORRY (yea, right) you are getting older and your body won't let you do what you used to be able to do, cause that just makes me older and tireder. Any way, gotta go. Lil, all I can tell you is keep on keeping on. Take it one day at a time and give yourself a lil bit of me, me, me time. Love ya all lots!
ReplyDeleteRsoie