Saturday, May 24, 2014

Time to share...

Time to share my reasons for thinking of
shutting down Lilbit of my World and
the reasons why I have decided not to.
I have put it off long enough and I know until
I get this down and share with my blog world,
I will have a block to my writing.
It is a hard thing to write a post that
explains what all I have been feeling without
putting others down, yet I have never been 
a martyr and not about to become one.
I am a very strong woman and there is not
much I can think of, aside from loosing my children
that will stop me from being happy and living 
a healthy life.
I also have to realize, though as my children
have reminded me a few times over the last few
"A lilbit of your world is sometimes a lot of our world"
So with this thought in my mind and heart,
I will only say,
After 30 years of marriage, HOBL and I find
ourselves separating, ending a marriage.
This may come as a shock to many and not so,
to others. If you go back to readings 5 years ago,
you would think there is no way that couple 
would end in a separation and yet, here we are.
Again, I could be the martyr, hang on the cross,
lay here all the faults of the man who I have
called husband for many years, but even 
all this would not change the fact that we
let the "devil" come between us.
I do not want my children to hurt because of 
anything I would post or say and yet
I also know that if I am to be true to myself
and my blog, I have to share.
Thanks to all of you for prayers you may
have said for us without knowing what you were praying for.
 It is a grief process as Father Greg reminded me, it is
a death. Even with that being said,
with every day that passes, I find myself looking around,
past the shock of the events, and find joy in the
small things. Find myself exploring who I want to be.
Facts are I have always enjoyed my own company,
and lately, I did not like who I was becoming.
Now, I am seeing the joy in the little things in
the world, understanding the feeling of being
free of the negative things that were becoming my life.
Here it is, in a nutshell:
Nothing in this world is worth more than my happiness
and my children and grandchildren.
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun…
(in my sing/song voice)

1 comment:

  1. You are an awesome person and things will work out for the best!