Wednesday, April 20, 2016

My take on Singlehood...

"You can't be alone" they said...
"You don't want to grow old by yourself" they said....
"You need to find someone to share your life with" even more said.
I have now been single, after being married for 30 years,
for two year. It was not just 30 years, it was a dating
relationship that started when I was 15, he 17.
He always worked away and I hate to admit,
but I counted down the days sometimes when it was time
for him to return to work. We grew to be so different from each
other. I could blame him for the end of it all but the fact of 
the matter was I needed out as well. We had grown apart,
two very different people who had little in common.
Thankfully we saved lots and both of us have a comfortable
lifestyle in our 50's. 
But this post is not about him or I or the end of Us.
It is about all those things people tell you when you become single.
I had never dated. Being 15 when we began courting,
I just didn't date. So my first year of single hood, I dated a lot.
And I had fun. The most being the relationship I had
with a man I met in Golden Meadow who landed up
being my neighbor in Plaquemine.
We both knew it was temporary and that within months
 he was moving back home and I was not going to leave my 
Now, the second year of single hood....
Well I have had a change of thoughts.
I have met many fun and interesting men but
I am just not in a hurry to have a stable long term relationship.
I find myself after a few dates with one certain one,
I am backing out, Just not wanting a long term relationship
as some of the men I have dated. We may start out good,
seeming to have some in common but after just a few
dates I realize we are just too different. I like orderliness,
I like neatness, I like my time with my grand girls and my family.
Many either don't have this or its not important.
I just can't seem to promise myself to anyone because
I am so set in my ways and love my cottage, content
with me, loving that if I decide a day to myself doing not much,
I can, If I wake up and I just am not feeling up to par, its okay,
having no one to worry about but me.
I look around my cottage and I am so proud of the home
I have made. I realize that all those sentences I listed
at the beginning of this blog are untrue.
I find myself dating less and enjoying me time more.
I can see myself, being very content in my little cottage,
sharing it with the people I love,
siblings, my children and their loves, my grand girls,
and my life is content. Although I like dating,
I also like waking up to my cottage, to the quietness of it.
I can't see myself right now remarrying or living with someone.
I know some may not believe this but I am so very content 
with me. I like my own company, I like waking up to me.
Lately, I have found myself enjoying the company of another
because we both seem to like the same things.
We are good friends right now, enjoying cooking together,
watching movies he loves that I have never seen,
I love the way he understands I don't know much history
but getting older finds me wanting to know more.
He is a good teacher. We are friends, friends of the opposite sex,
not needing anything from the other but fun.
 I feel that both of us understand we like time away as well as
time together. I don't know where this will go and
the great thing about this friend, It really does not matter.
He has his own space that he loves as I do.
He works away which gives me lots of Mumsie and "me" time.
We have lots of the same believes of cleanliness of home,
liking movies and reading, there is no pressure in this relationship
to be any more than one day at a time.
We don't speak of love, future, meeting each others family.
I am happy with what it is now, I think he is as well.
I guess what I mean is neither of us needs anything from
the other so we really just enjoy each other and neither
of us demand any time from each other.
Very adult, understanding we have lives outside of our friendship.
  Looking forward to possible spend a few days together
but if we find ourselves nothing but friends,
I know that the statements of above are not for me.
I will be happy and I will be content, I already am.
So if you find yourself single after many years of being an "us"
take the time to find you before you decide you need another.
You might just find that when that pressure is gone,
you might be able to open to friends of the opposite.
Also know, there is nothing, absolutely nothing wrong if you decide
that being single can be fulfilling and full of contentment.
Just a few words to all those out there realizing 
life does not end because the WE becomes YOU.


  1. Amen!! I am PERFECTLY CONTENT being alone, with me!!!!!

  2. Love this post. Some of us live a lifetime trying to find that someone to complete us,when all some of us need is oneself to be content enough to enjoy life. We have to self love which will in turn lead us down that road to happiness.