Get ready, get a cup of coffee, it's gunna be a long one.
I have spent a weekend in the midst of men and women who love
God. I have spent the weekend in the midst of one woman,
called Immaculee' who adores our dear Mother Mary.
For years, I have loved Virgin Mary so much, so much that at times,
I wondered, if I was breaking the first commandment,
"I AM THE LORD YOUR GOD, THERE SHOULD BE NO OTHER
GODS BEFORE ME."
It is what other religions and other Christians say is wrong with the Catholic
church, we idolize statues and saints..
Because I teach religion to Confirmation Candidates, I know how
to defend this. We tell our children, we do not idolize these things,
they are our "go between' people, we ask them for help as they
have better access to God, our Father.
I explain it in this way. If you have to have surgery, you want the
best doctor but do you want just him in that surgery room or
do you want him surrounded by the best qualified nurses and techs.
to assist him? That is what our praying to the Saints and our Mother
are like for me. They are His ears and eyes in a world full of pain
and need. Back to Blessed Mother.
I love, love, love Mary. Immaculee' has shown me that I can love
her more, she is all our Mother and she loves her position.
I thought I loved Mother, oh my, this gal, over exceeds the love
I have a hundred times more.
Yet, my heart fills for love and the permission and acceptance that
I can do this. So much so, that when the microphone is open to the
congregation for thoughts and stories, I just know I am going there.
Everyone knows, give me a microphone and a crowd, and I will
speak. My baby niece, Rebecca is not that way, but when I tell
her I have to go, she gives me the green light,
"You go girl"
The church is full to capacity. This is the most people I have
ever spoke in front of and I have done lots of presentations.
Of course, I am led by the Father and his Mother.
I share a few sentences to break the ice, calm my nerves.
That I am a childhood cancer survivor in the day that it
was not possible to survive this cancer. I lightly tell them
that I finally got a bike at the age of 12 because I refuse to die.
Then I get into my love for Mary.
Here is a synopsis of what I shared:
I MARRIED A MAN WHO WAS DRUG ADDICTED.
ONCE WE HAD OUR FIRST CHILD, I KNEW I COULD
NOT STAY. LONG STORY SHORT, MY HUBBY WENT INTO
REHAB AND STAYED SOBER FOR 27 YEARS.
WHILE IN TREATMENT, I ASKED THE PROFESSIONALS,
WHAT I COULD DO SO THAT I COULD SPARE MY CHILD
AND ANY FUTURE CHILDREN FROM THIS DREADED DISEASE.
AS I SHARED, I CAN GO THROUGH THIS WITH A HUSBAND,
BUT I DON'T WANT TO SEE A CHILD OF MINE SUFFER IN THIS
WAY. THEY GAVE ME THE TOOLS TO FOLLOW AND I DID,
LIKE A BIBLE, WENT TO CHURCH AND RELIGION,
PRAYED NIGHTLY FOR THEM, WENT TO AA AND ALANON,
BROUGHT MY CHILDREN THERE. WE WERE NOT A PERFECT
FAMILY, DYSFUNCTIONAL LIKE MOST BUT IN THE
REGARDS OF DRUGS AND ALCOHOL, MY CHILDREN
SHOULD HAVE BEEN SPARED AND YET AT 16 WE FOUND
OUR CHILD ADDICTED TO DRUGS. IT WAS THE WORST
TIME OF MY FAMILY'S LIVES. EACH TIME HE NEEDED HELP,
WE DID COUNSELING AND MD'S, EVERYTHING TO GET HIM
TO FIND SOBRIETY. NONE OF IT WORKED SO WE DID THE
ONLY OTHER THING WE KNEW HOW, WE DID THE TOUCH LOVE
THING. IT IS TOO LONG TO GO INTO ALL THE DETAILS BUT
IN A NUTSHELL, WE HAD TO LET HIM GO AND BE ON HIS OWN.
WE DID AND IT WAS THE HARDEST THING WE EVER HAD TO DO.
I WAS WEAKER THAN THE HUBBY BUT WE MANAGED
TO STICK TO OUR GUNS. I DID TRY AND STILL SPEAK HIM
INTO TREATMENT, FEED HIM, TELL HIM HOW MUCH THIS
WAS KILLING US. HE FINALLY DID FIND A TREATMENT
FACILITY AND WHILE HE WAS THERE, I WATCHED
THE PASSION OF CHRIST.
There was my Mary, watching her dear son be beaten and falling.
my first thought was that,
"Mary you do know, you know how much I love my son."
but I knew my lesson here was much more than just that.
Then it hits me, I can barely breath as i understand.
my lesson. Mother Mary watches all this, she watches his son
beaten and a crown of thorns be dug into his head,
she watches as he carries a cross much heavier than him
through the streets as people cackle and tease him.
At one point He falls and she runs to him, cradles him in
his arms. As she is running her mind flashes back to a time
when he was just her little boy and he fell on the rocks.
She runs to him and comforts his tears.
This time it would have taken much more than that to comfort
her baby boy.
She watches as they nail her baby to that very same cross
he was carrying and hangs him so all the people can view
his torture and death and still she watches and she never,
not once says the words I have been saying too many times,
"leave my baby alone"
Not once, did she try and stop the process that was needed
for her Son to save the world.
OMG… what a lesson, I knew then all the times before when
i said I had, "LET GO AND LET GOD"
I kept taking it back. That very day I truly let go.
I left the movie, said God he is yours and I planned his funeral.
Yes, I planned his funeral. It was then that God was able to
do the work He needed to do on my son.
Then he found sobriety.
He has just celebrated 10 years of sobriety,
married to a wonderful girl, is a father of one beautiful
daughter and another on the way."
THE CONGREGATION CLAPS AND I SIT.
I TEAR BUT I DO NOT CRY. I REALIZE I HAVE NOT SHARED
THAT STORY FOR SOME TIME AND TEN YEARS HAVE PASSED,
TEN YEARS MY SON IS SOBER, MY DAUGHTER
HAS HER BROTHER AND BEST FRIEND BACK.
TEN YEARS SINCE GYPSY BABY HELD THE TITLE
OF MY SILENT HERO.
Is that all? Is there more to the purging of an old story?
Yes there is. Tiffy and I went to see a movie and when we get
out I check my text messages. There is a desperate on from a
dear friend whose son also suffers from the disease of
drug addiction, that damned devil.
Just like the disease of cancer, there is a remission, very
few people stay sober for 5 years but if they do, they
are in remission. the difference between our baby boys
are my son is in remission, hers is not.
She is having a bad day, asks that I text or call her.
Something this desperate deserves a phone call, also because
I realize my speech of yesterday was not only to share
with many others but to refresh my memory of what
really happened because the Big Man and his Momma?
Well they knew I would need it today.
I excitedly call my friend and share.
She is crying as I tell the story in my excited voice.
Wow, how these small miracles happen and yet there
are those that think miracles are coincidences.
This was no accident, my readers.
She thanks me, but there is no need for thanks,
as I did nothing, was just the messenger.
I get a text from my pal last night:
"WAS JUST THANKING MY LORD FOR YOU
MY ANGEL….I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH…
THANK YOU AND KNOW YOU DID MAKE A BIG
DIFFERENCE IN MY DAY…"
Again, no need to thank me, I am just the messenger.
I made a promise to our Father when baby boy found
sobriety. I promised that I would, each time asked,
share my/our story whenever asked.
when someone reaches out to me, I will answer.
I have been lax in my Alanon attendance but this week,
that as well as my church attendance has changed.
I need to give back, give hope to others who are still
suffering. It may be my calling.
Sorry so long as I know that cup of coffee has to
either be gone or cold by now.
Awesome!
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