Thursday, February 12, 2015
SAVE ME by Kristyn Lewis
I began my new year saying I planned to
read more, again.
While married, I read at least three books a week.
Since this single life, it has become harder to read.
Month two and I completed book two of the new year,
SAVE ME BY KRISTYN KUSEK LEWIS
I picked it up when my friend, Cat and I went
to Perkins Rowe for a movie and stopped in to Barnes.
I read the back cover and thought,
"HMMM this sounds a tad like my life right now"
and bought it.
I was right, so many things the author wrote about
had me thinking of my own marriage.
Found me a few times, missing the old days,
the days of sobriety and when we were happy.
But it also had me realizing SAVE ME
also clarified so much as to why this separation
and ultimate divorce is a good thing.
We both had stopped trying to make it work
and being away from each other, I find
myself realizing it had been long coming.
We took each other for granted,
we stopped putting each other first,
we were both out of the marriage before the
separation actually happened.
Of course, it could have been handled better
by both of us but almost a year later,
we are civil and almost friends again
and for that I am grateful.
Towards the end of the book,
I read a paragraph that had me tear up.
Yes, it is what he and I both forgot was important
and what I can say for myself, is what I long for
now as I mature and grow older,
...HE SAID THAT DOING HIS JOB WELL MEANS
ENABLING PEOPLE TO HAVE THE FANTASY
WE ALL WANT WHEN WE STAY IN A HOTEL-
TO BE CODDLED, TO ESCAPE REAL LIFE.
IT OCCURRED TO ME WHEN HE SAID IT THAT
THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE'S DOING FOR ME..."
I realized that we stopped doing this, making sure
each of us could leave the world behind and make
the other happiest when together.
Or maybe, because we actually grew up together,
we never did this.
I now find this in a man I date and although our
relationship is temporary, It feels good to be made
important, to be first, to be asked what I want to do.
I wish this for Ron too.
More than anything, I have come to realize this marriage had
to come to an end but that does not mean we don't still want
the best for the other.
We will find ourselves friends and for that I will forever