Thursday, November 17, 2011

Finding my ground once again

4th day home and I feel like I am gaining ground
on this life of mines once again.
Yet, I have these long standing quilt feelings about
calling in sick but feeling well.
Today I feel so much better and my old mind
that I have worked with for my whole life says
if you feel good, you should get dressed and march into work.
Changing the mind set to believe, feel and know
that the reason I am well is because I have used the
last 4 days to regroup myself and move at my own speed.
A speed that just does not agree with me and my work ethics.
If I cannot give 150% on the work front then
I feel bad about earning a pay check.
It is why probably that only 4 months after
school starting, all my work is done for the year.
Changing a mind set after having that mind set
for my whole life is the hardest part of accepting
this whole chronic pain issue.
So, today, I will work on accepting that I should not
feel quilty for not working if I am having a better day.
To know that the reason it is a good day is because I am not
pushing myself to work.
I will today, work on eating healthy instead of the
emotional eating I have been doing lately.
I will try to walk again today, like I did yesterday.
I will work on not feeling quilty for a good day
and enjoy the day for what it is.
Tomorrow, the baby boy and the bean are coming sleep.
I can hardly wait for that!!!!


  1. Chocolate bananas are catching hell again ....

  2. good for you! take care of you, my friend!