Wednesday, March 11, 2015

childhood sleepovers..

I read an article today about a mother
who writes she will never allow her children
to ever have sleepovers at others peoples homes.
It intriqued me as to her reasons.
She expressed that she was sexually abusied twice
and both time were at sleepovers.
The first was a sleepover at her aunts where her uncle
sexually abused her.
Another was a birthday party and was abused by an
older brother. 
How terrible that a thing that should be so innocent and 
so trusting for a child, a right of passage,
is now one other thing a parent has to stress over,
the simple fact of sleeping at a friends house.
I must admit, I had my own reservations of these things
when baby boy and gypsy baby were growing,
It is why I much rathered the sleepovers to be at my house.
When BB had boys sleepover, they were always so kind
to let gypsy play also, but when bedtime came, she had
to sleep with me. I knew none of these boys would hurt
her but I, as being her Mother, had to take any stress
I may have over it, taken out of my mind.
There were few places I trusted my own children
to sleep and I questioned, questioned, questioned.
AS far as I know neither was abused but there was one
incident with both children that I had wished I had
kept them home. Neither was abuse but in both instances
I felt like I had not made the right choice for them.
So I can see how this author felt about taking no chances.
but I have to say, what about all the things that are
learned by allowing sleepovers and their own friends
to spend time sleeping at their home.
I speak now of my own grandchildren,
how their parents will worry.
I always thought I was against a young child having a 
cell phone and in many ways still am,
yet, If i had young children, they would have some
type of phone to call me no matter what.
So much for young parents to worry about.
Yet, there is so much good from spending time
at others homes as well as having friends spending time
at their own home. To see that families
are all different, none right or wrong, hopefully, but different.
AS young children, I loved when they had sleepovers at our home.
 I tried to spend as much time as I could with them.
The videos we made those days are still things that we love to watch.
They learned of different eating habits, sleep times.
So there are pros and cons of both.
I guess, if I were facing these things as a parent now I would
first know where they were going, well.
I would know their parents, siblings, sleeping arrangements.
I would make sure my child would have a way to call home
if they in any way felt like they needed to come home.
They may feel like you are being ridiculous but in 
these days, you have to be honest with children and let them know
exactly what you fear for them without scaring them.
Most importantly, I would try and make most of the sleepovers
at my home, When at my home, I know I would be the one
to make the rules, etc.
so you young parents who are just starting to have to worry about
these things, begin now to establish a plan.
And may God be with each of our innocent children
and protect them from anyone who takes it upon
themselves to take the innocence from our babies.
Aunt Mumsie

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