Thursday, April 18, 2013

After the "hooplah" is over

Yesterday was beautiful! 
A celebration of a women's 92 years of life,
A goodbye until we meet again. 
So many people, so many friends, so many family members 
All there to pay tribute to a most awesome woman and mother. 
All there to support us as we lay our mother in her final resting place, back where h belongs
Right there with my daddy.i
Just as she wanted, many followed us to
The Lasalette center for a party. 
I cannot even begin to name and thank all that were there 
Nor all that were not but sent their condolences. 
As one shared with me, usually funerals
Of people in their 90's have very few people attend thir funeral
And my moms turn out was a true testament to the
Woman she was. 
As I said yesterday, we are not to canonize her as she was not a saint.
Yet, she was a child of God and how happy He
Must have been to see her. 
As for me, my siblings? 
I do believe we are all feeling the same thing today. 
The morning we had to let her body go was by far the hardest. 
I thought yesterday would be just as hard nd yet it was not. 
What I did not expect was this day,
The morning after.  
I am sad and realization is setting in that until
I am called to heaven, my time with my mommy is over.
I know all the words  people tell you in their way
Of finding comfort to give you. 
I know that I must rejoice in the good fortune of having so many
Years with our Mommy,
but for today, perhaps this one day, I want the permission
To allow reality to kick in and realize, I for the first time
In my life,am parent-less. 
It was hard when our daddy died but we still hd our mommy.
Todd, a friend of ours sent me a message someone told him when his own 
Mother died:
"You don't truly grow up until your mom dies" 
then he added that it sucked to grow up. 
No more late night calls telling me she is not well. 
No more 24/7 vigils at St.Joseph manor.
This morning, for the first time in my entire life I, wished
I'd had a shitty momma so it wouldn't hurt this bad.
of course that memory didn't lst long as I would never, ever have traded the
One we had. 
So, life goes on and right now, at 430 I will finally get dressed
And Hobl and I will go up the road,
kirtley road that is and play with out Bean while 
Baby boy fixes us supper. 
Once again, thanks to all for love, support,
And compassion through these last few
Sometimes awful but most times wonderful,

1 comment:

  1. Praying for you, Lil and your sisters! Love, Lisa