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Thursday, September 27, 2012

Late Effects

Our new friend will become Anna's Endocrinologist. This is due to the amount of chemo and radiation her little body has endured. Unfortunately, her life without medicine will be short lived. Once the late term side effects kick in, she will be on medicines for the rest of her life. On the bright side, clinic appts. and testing are now down to 1 time per 

That above few sentences is thankfully, from the blog
of sweet Anna, the little girl I have spoken about a few times
last year who was battling cancer.
She, today is celebrating her first year anniversary of
having received her stem cell transplant and another month of NED
better known in the cancer world as 
NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE,
GO, ANNA BANANA.
Why, you may be asking, have I picked these few sentences to 
share with my bloggers?
It is with great excitement that the children who have cancer in today's
world are seen and treated for the term, Late term side effects.
Back in my day there was dead or alive, treatment was given 
with no regards as to whether or not you would survive.
It focused on the survival part and for that I am grateful.
However, there is that other part of me who feels alone sometimes
in the world. There are no doctors out there who can explain to me
what radiation and chemotherapy has done to my body and yet
each tell me I am fortunate because one, I am alive,
and two my symptoms that I suffer still allow me a normal life.
They are hidden from the world.
For those things I am grateful. 
Even on the WWW it is hard to find many who are still here
today who had radiation back in the day before it was monitored.
I feel guilty many days because I have pain that cannot be explained 
to anyone and feel like I should just suck it up.
I feel guilty on the days that I just can't get anything accomplished
and just want to lay down and read all day.
It makes me feel lazy and that is something that I never have been.
The older I get, the more I feel the effects of the radiation I have had.
So happy for dear sweet Anna and her future and all the children
who are in her category of 
Childhood cancer survivors. So happy that when they get to be
my age, as I pray they will, all will be understood as to the price
we cancer survivors pay for life.
And yet, it is all worth it. I am thankful that I am doing so well.
I am thankful that I was able to give 30 years to a career that
really was a passion. I am thankful for the two children who were not
supposed to be. I am extremely happy about the Bean.
I pray daily for acceptance of myself for it is I who is the hardest on myself.
Happy Thursday! 
Bean and I heading to Thibby to see the Mommy!

1 comment:

  1. We are thankful that you are alive, sweet Lil! Praying for Anna too!

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