Thursday, July 31, 2014

A special child calls me Mumsie

Our Bean, we have always believed she is special.
Of course, she is ours so we think that.
She is also very normal.
She can be sassy, have temper tantrums, has the little
diva attitude, yet deep in her, she is special.
Now I know all think that of their grand babies.
I will give you today a "for instance" of why
she is so special to us.
She remembers my Momma.
She asks often about heaven and her Momma 
would like her not to worry about things such as this
because she is just three and a girl that age just should
not think of those types of things.
We had a Mumsie/Jilly night Geeze,  this baby girl
is so much fun, high strung and needs much attention
but that is what is great about the times she spends
with me and her MawMaw, she is the hit of the party 
and we let her call the shots.
So, we picked flowers and she made this bouquet.
She also loves helping me cook.
Oh but she must wear all her gear, her apron, her hat, her
glove, she has her own utensils, all pig inspired,
but really, she is so darn good about following cooking
directions but I have to admit, I heard at least hundred times,
"I want to do it!!! don't help me, Mumsie"
She is zoo freaking independent!

Even with all of this, here comes the real story
that will explain that out of the thousands of children
I have met over my years of school nursing, there are
very few that have this special thing about them.
Bean has this.
We were playing in her room and she came across
a framed picture of her and My Momma.
she asks,
"HEEYYYY Mumsie!! how did I get back from Heaven?"
I explain that was before Mommee went to Heaven whens hew as a baby.
"OOOHHHhh I changed the subject as her parents
don't want her worrying about death or Heaven she is
just too young.
My Mommy had this beautiful Mary statue holding
baby Jesus, I love it, it was given to her on her
90th bday by my dear aunt GaGald and my cousins
Fay and Dela, Bert and their families
I loved it the minute I saw it and always said,
"When she dies that thing is coming home with me and
it did. As I am dressing I hear Bean sitting on the
small box where Mary and Baby Jesus lives,
rocking them. I come out to check on her and
she has gone get Penny too because that is my favorite doll
and she has her Minnie Mouse she jacked from
her baby sisters car seat saying,
"But that is my favorite Momma"
I am dressing and she is just playing to her little hearts content.
We dress and leave for what I can say is the most
fun day we have had a Chuckie Cheese. It's the
first time we go just us and we both agreed it was fun.
On the way home she is tired but won't close her eyes.
"Mumsie, am I going home now?"
She had been at my house over 24 hours and was ready go home.
 "I miss my Mommy"
Not I miss my sister, my house, my room, my toys,
"I miss my Mommy"
I drop her off and Kd I am sooo sorry for teaching her
how to ring the bell and hide and run away.
I kiss and hug up on our sweet J.Belle
who laughs, coos, talks to me. She is just
the happiest baby ever.
I finally head home and there, in my room is this:
There, on the bench where she played while I dressed she
has left me a montage to comfort me
She worries a lot about her Mumsie.
Asks me always, if I am loney or sad,
"Nope my baby, I am not lonely or sad."
So back to my montage.
This three year old who will not be 3 and a half until
September. has taken my Mommy's pillow that she insistes
on sleeping on when sleeps here,  she has
taken my Mommys' mary and baby Joseph, and the Minnie
that is :her favorite" that she jacked from baby belle.
and my favorite doll, Penny and put them in
order in my room. Yet, it is the picture that gets me.
She has to think this through as that picture was
in her room, without me knowing, she went to her
room and got that picture and added it to her gift to me.
Sometimes I wish I knew what her little three year old
mind was thinking when she placed these things together.
And this is one of the many reasons why her Mother and I
think she is such a special child.
Again, normal three year Diva but the heart of gold.
thank you Bean, this made Mumsie's day.
(Permission from her Mommy for this blog)

Monday, July 28, 2014

Another reason why I would change nothing of my life, even if I could

In counseling, she has asked me, if you could change…
and I never let her get farther from that because I know
the answer, have thought it out many times in my life.
the answer is…
"I would live the exact same life with maybe a few changes,
if it mean I could have the very same children I have.
I know many parents will read this and think, yeah,
my kids are that great too. And perhaps they are
but I only have these two, no others to compare to,
and I would not change them for anything.
Don't get me wrong, they are far from perfect.
They sometime think they are the grown up and
they are the parent, they give good advice sometimes
but if you choose to do what you want anyway, well
lets just say, they don't always like it.
They do have one thing in common with me,
neither is afraid of saying how they feel,
sometimes they are nice about it and sometimes
they are very abrupt. Yet, they both share one thing
in common with their Mother, uhhh me:
They are sensitive and they don't write love letters half
as much as I do, hardly ever, but when they do, oh 
it makes me cry.
So that is the story leading up to the blog.
I had a date this week and had two weeks to think
about it. I went back and forth talking to gypsy baby
and BB as well as kd as to whether or not I was ready for this.
Friday, when the day finally got here, I was excited and ready.
I got all dressed and headed to my car as we were meeting
in Thibodaux, and there, taped to my drivers side window was
this love letter:
All a Momma needs to know she is doing the right thing,
all a Momma needs to know she raised herself some awesome children.
Thank you my gypsy baby, my baby girl, my best pal.
I love, love, love, you and your brother so!

Friday, July 25, 2014

HELP ME ST. JOSEPH…. sell this house!

My sweet Kd, she has added lots of
ideas for selling this huge house that I am
so ready to be rid of. She asks me a few weeks
ago if I buried St. Joseph in my yard…. uhhhh nooooo.
She goes on to explain that St. Joseph is known for selling
houses. I kind of knew that, I have one in my house
but she fills me in on it has to be buried.
Well, I am not gunna bury my favorite St. Joseph statue
in the yard. I figured I would have to buy a new one.
Then Kd starts giving me all these rules she thinks 
has to be done for it work. WHAT??? Rules
She explains she things I have to bury him
ass up, face facing away from the house,
close to the for sale sign.
Well, I realize I have to get this right Ya know?
So kd sends me some article explaining how it
needs to be done. What would I do without my Kd?
Wednesday, while DTB I go to my favorite religious store
and I ask Tammy, my cousin, 
'I need a St. Joseph statue to sell my house"
Well, Tammy and her hubby Donald been in
this religious supply business for some time so she
knows exactly what I need:
Yep, check that out! A kit with all the instructions!!
look across the box,
Damn this house would be sold by now had I known.
It just made me chuckle a tad when I actually saw
there was a kit for this…. but I know
I gotta believe so today, Old St. Jo
gunna get buried following all the rules and
prayers I need to say.
Look, I am so convinced it's going to work that
I started packing yesterday!
No freaking kidding!
My favorite direction is
I am so glad for this because I have grown accustomed
to my little St. Joe statue and kind of feel bad to put him
in the ground upside down, but a girl gotta do what
a girl gotta do.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Maw goose Passed and the celebration was fantastic!

I walked in for the funeral a tad late. Glad it 
wasn't any later as I may have missed it.
I love a Baptist funeral. There is no waste of time and
the funeral is all about the loved one who has passed.
The music was beautiful and there was one song that
just touched me and I knew I wanted to share it here.
I had never heard it before but it said so much of what I think
when saying goodbye to someone I love so.
thankfully, Adrianne, Maw's granddaughter had posted
a portion of the Mercy Me song on her Facebook wall:
Adrianne Duet
"You're in a better place, I've heard a thousand times
And at least a thousand times I've rejoiced for you
But the reason why I'm broken, the reason why I cry
Is how long must I wait to be with you
I close my eyes and I see your face
If home's where my heart is then I'm out of place
Lord, won't you give me strength to make it through somehow
I've never been more homesick than now
Help me Lord cause I don't understand your ways
The reason why I wonder if I'll ever know
But, even if you showed me, the hurt would be the same
Cause I'm still here so far away from home"

So beautiful and only one of the most beautiful songs 
sang. It began to rain as it was time to lay her casket
in its final resting place. that is not stop us all from being there.
A bagpipe was played by a family friend,
I had never hear a bagpipe so close nor played
like this young girl played.
After we were all invited to the church community center.
So many memories I have in this building.
When Baby boy and Scott, Sue and Foe's son 
became best friends at 3 years old for many years,
we were fortunate to spend so many of Scott's birthday parties 
there. there was a huge gym so there was skating, eating,
basketball playing, Pool tables, my kids loved it there.
Many times gypsy baby also practiced biddy ball there
for All Stars. Lots of memories and so many people had
prepared food for the celebration after. I love mingling
with so many I knew and others I didn't.
Ma Gus would have loved her party.
I am so honored that the family thinks of me as family.
I am a distant cousin and over many years,
I and this family spent much time together,
but I did not expect to he handed a red rose from
the casket bouquet that was being handed to the family
members. I cried then. That they think of me as family.
There is one thing I will always, always be thankful for,
that I took that Saturday to spend with Ma Gus and
"My family".
Now the hard part, My dear Godson, Rick,
leaves tomorrow to go back to the Navy.
He keeps reassuring us that he is in a safe place and
not to believe what we hear on the news,
but having him here the last two weeks has been 
wonderful and him leaving tomorrow will be almost
as hard as laying Maw Gus down to her final resting place.
We know our Rick is coming back to us.
I am so darn proud of this child, especially because
he calls me Nannie.
I joke with those who love him that he can drive me crazy
sometimes, and as a child he truly did, but there is 
something special about Rick, he never gives up on
anyone he loves. I told those who would listen that I have no
doubt when it is me in the bed Maw Gus laid in as she died,
that my children will be on one side, and my only Godson
(I have 5 goddaughters but he is my only Godson)
will be on the other side of my death bed.
It is who he is, much like his Mom when it comes to 
caring for elderly and the sick.
I love my Rick, safe travels my dear one.
 His mom
his godmom

Sunday, July 20, 2014

The way to leave this world

If there is ever a perfect way to leave this world,
it would be the way our dear MaMa Goose is doing it.
I entered her home yesterday to all those who love her surrounding
her hospital bed in her own living room. 
There was her daughter, Connie sitting close, holding
her hand and on the other side of her was an empty 
chair. I guess for whoever felt the urge at the time
to take up the place to be closer to Ma Gus.
Surrounding the wall of this room were chairs and not
one seat was empty. When one got up, there was another to
fill it. For the few hours I was there, never was there and empty
chair. It is evident she is on her last days, ready
to check out to her next journey. Her family has shared
stories with me of how she has said she is ready to
go home while pointing to the heavens.
She has been seen speaking to her dear husband, Sam
who went ahead of her many years before.
On this most beautiful day, Gus slept the whole
time. Still we spoke as though she was hearing us.
We all shared old stories, laughed and cried.
I rubbed her hair, told her a few time how much
I loved her, joked with her that I was hoping
she had me some "canad" cooked.
You see, every Sunday, even when she felt badly she
cooked Sunday lunch and her family went there.
All were invited, the menu was whatever her loved ones
requested. I have had many Sunday meals in that home.
so I teased her about how I had come to eat.
It was not a sad place to be, even though death was
imminent. Of course there were tears shed at different times
of the visit but none were overly sad.
I was so glad I had made the the unplanned trip.
It was inspiring and reminded me of my own Mommy's passing.
How beautiful death can be, giving me the hope that there
is so much more after this life.
As I kissed all that surrounded our Gus that day,
I saved her for last.
I bent down close to her, I rubbed her head, I kissed her
cheek. I then asked her a favor,
"Ma Gus, I know where you are going when you leave her,
you are going straight to heaven, Our Lord, I know
that is where my Mommy also is. When You get there,
can you give my Momma, Minta a big, big hug and kiss
and tell her that is from her baby girl and that I miss her?
For the first time since I had been there, she tried to open her
eyes, she tried to focus on me and she gave me a small nod.
One tear fell down her cheek. A few fell down mine and
a few others who were close enough to hear my request.
I don't think I will see our dear Ma Gus alive again.
I love this woman, I love her family.
Through her illness much healing has been done in
this family. God is good like that. 
Her only daughter that has not been there is on her way
from Texas. I have no doubt it is she who ma Gus is
waiting for to leave her family to be with her husband.
RIP wonderful woman, they don't make them like
you anymore.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Some are made for comforting.

My baby boy, each time I share with him something that
he looks at as being depressing or negative,
he asks, "Man, you love that stuff, huh?"
or " do you look for this sad shit?"
Truth is, there are those like me, mostly those
in the medical profession who don't thrive on it
but know they can help those who are struggling.
I am a very positive person most days, always
looking for the good in a situation. But to others
it may look like thriving on the negative, the sad.
Some have a way of knowing what to say 
in those situations. I consider myself one of those.
I am not afraid to approach a subject that most would
rather not talk about. This morning, I call a dear friend
whose mother is dying. They don't expect her to make
it through the weekend so I am trying to make it 
there today. It's not enough for me to just try and
get there, I have to talk to my friend.
You see, this friend, we raised our children together.
Her mother was like a grandmother to my own babies,
my mother, the same to her son. So I know what she
is feeling, I know what she is thinking, I know all
those things she wishes she could say to the ones who
surround her Mothers death bed but won't say it as it would
hurt or make them sad. So I call, and I share my own 
experiences with her, she cries, I cry, she thanks me
but there is no need for that. It is a gift from God to
know what to say to someone who is hurting, what to
say to make them feel just a tad better.
So, no dear son, I don't thrive on this stuff,
but I am very thankful that I am not afraid to make
the call, to say the things others just don't have the courage
to say. Love to you all dear Sue, Scott, Foe and
all those who love our MaMa Goose.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Going on a rampage, warning, you may want to not read...

This is the greatest thing about this being My Blog….
I can say what I want without having to worry about
others opinions…. so here I go…
I am so freaking tired of people abusing, murdering 
their children and then getting pissed because
others just won't tell them they are right.
I should not judge, but my blog, I am.
A daddy who brings his son for breakfast,
in a car seat that he had outgrown, five minutes
from his work and sitter, then leaves him in the car
is not an innocent daddy. I know there are many out there
who this truly happened to them and for this murderer
to try and link himself with those who have really suffered this
tragedy even makes me more angry.
he knew when he drove up to work that baby was in 
that car. A child at 22 months, well I know Bean would
have said, "Uhhh, Mumsie, don't leave me here, it HOT!"
So, this so called Dad, which I don't think he deserves
to be called Dad, goes to work then sex texts with a few
women. Like why is he not working???
He goes to the car at lunch to put lightbulbs in his car, Really?
Like as if he needed to put bulbs at lunch in his car.
He went there to see if the deed was done.
How could he go there and not check to see how
his little boy was. Sick man.
The police say the smell of death was in that
car. I drive a Tucson, same care he did,
I could not rear face Bean's car seat with her in it 
at 22 months without her being cramped.
Her legs would have been in her throat.
This sweet baby trusted this man. 
Then the Mommy, to say,  at the funeral,
"If I could bring him back I would not because
I would not want any child to be raised in this cruel world."
No sympathy from this Mumsie.
I look at our Bean and her sister,
and I just could not imagine not only life without them nor
even any suffering brought to them.
They get sick and we all could cry.
So yeah, I am being judgmental.
These people need to not be just put in jail.
They need to be placed in a hot car, strapped into
a seat that is too small for them.
they need to stay sweaty with nothing to drink,
every day, then just before they are dead….
pull them out revive them, then do it again,
Every day until the dear Lord takes them out.
That's my story, sticking to it.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Baptisms bring families together

Sweet Jolee was baptized yesterday.
I know I have a blog name for her somewhere but I can't
remember it right now, so she is Jolee today.
of course, I could write a whole blog about 
this wonderful day but I am going to sideswipe
that for another day because I have 
something else I want to share.
On Thursday I was In Thib.
Needed a haircut and visit with my dear young
friend, Katie, the neighbor.
I also wanted to visit the Plaisance nieces and nephews,
but my time was running out because I had to be back 
home for a meeting at 7. 
I texted the niece, Rebecca and explained was going to 
have to back out on the visit I had planned.
she says its okay but Hugh, her oldest, needed to talk to me.
She added that he would just call me later.
Nope, not gunna happen. When a niece or nephew need
their Auntie Lil, that comes first. I tell her no worries, I am coming.
figured even if I was a little late for the meeting,
I have to be there for Hughsky Doo.
I walk in and am blessed with many hugs and kisses from
every one of the 4 Plaisance kiddo's. that is enough in itself.
Yet I am on a time frame and the clock is "a-tickin"
finally as the Husky Doo makes him an afternoon cup of Java
he asks,
"Aunt Lil, would you be my confirmation sponsor?"

Insert tears here. There is nothing I need more, right now
than to be reminded of my own confirmation vows,
to not only be witness but stand beside a great nephew who
I have loved from the very first time I laid eyes on him,
and witness such an important part of his life.
I am honored and touched and I am not really sure
if he even knows just how much I have needed this.
I leave with big hugs, tears in my eyes and a big, big
smile on my face.
Then I am honored by so many of my family members 
coming out to celebrate with us, Jolee's baptism.
It is almost a two hour drive for most of my siblings,
and yet, they are here. I have always been one
easy with the tears, this has me realizing just how 
blessed I truly am. They may not see the world in the way
I do, they may not understand the things I do to assure my 
happiness, but they are there and love me unconditionally.
My niece Rebecca and her two girls spend the night.
I am so glad for this because my night will consist of
sitting with Bean and Jolee at their home.
Bean and Ellen, Rebecca's youngest keep each other 
entertained for most of the night.
It is the relationship I see between my Lucy and Jolee
that has me mesmerized. When did our Lucy begin to 
become a young woman??/
Lucy as a baby, as a child, she always had a big sense
of who she was. She always knew she could achieve all
she touched, yet her immaturity of her years had her
not being able to say those things she felt so she seemed maybe
a tad cocky to those who did not know her as we did.
She also could be a tad bossy at that age and we laughed about it
because we all knew once this child grew into her own,
she would be phenomenal. This has happened.
Our Lucy is now 13 years old. She remains smart and beautiful,
with a high self esteem that no longer looks like cockiness to others.
This child is becoming her MOther in more ways than one.
we spent that night together with the little girls and baby Jolee
and she did everything for Jolee. Rocked her, helped bathe her,
fed her. spoke of how she wants to babysit, how she loves 
babies. Okay, if you looking for a babysitter, add this child
to your list. She can do it. She spoke of wanting to take
 babysitting classes but unfortunately they are not easy 
to find and the one she was in was cancelled because
there was not enough in the class. I will find this girl 
a babysitting class because she deserves that.
It is not only watching her with Jolee but it was the little things
she didn't even know I was watching. her little sister, ellen is 
the definite baby of the family. I watched Lucy at different times
of the day without prompting from her Mommy, she 
reaches over a few times, I can see it in my rear view mirror,
she checks her sisters seat belt. she lays her head on her shoulder,
she kisses her forehead for no reason only except to do it.
She is her sisters mentor, always watching out for her.
I love this child and all she is becoming.
I hear her conversations with her Mother.
Unlike most teens her age, she does not contradict her Mothers 
words but listens and tells her version without condemning her 
Mothers version of a story. She is the type of teenager you 
not only mind having around but you want her there.
My niece Rebecca and her hubby Mikie are wonderful parents,
it shows in their children. Yet, I also know that who they are 
are not all about how they are raised but who they are individually.
Now that the children are heading to the teen years, I know 
they have worries. I want to say, they will fall, they will make
mistakes, they will not be perfect but they are special children
and are blessings to us all.
Hugh I am so proud of not only how close we have remained,
always having a kiss and hug for me, even though you are 
a full fledged teen. You think of me as being one who has your back
and that means a lot to me. I will proudly see you through your 
confirmation and all those other things you may need me for.
Lucy, I am so, so proud of you. Sometimes I look at you and things
you do, and I see you Mommy at that age, She and I have always had
a special bond and I see you and I having that also.
I am so very proud of the person you are becoming and the love
you have for your family. Don't let anything in this crazy world stray
you from the things that are important, family.
I have not spoken much of Owen and Ellen because this post is
about the older ones, believe me I could write another book just of them.
I love you all.
So thankful for the baptism day of Jolee Claire so I can share
so much of my life with you, my followers.

Friday, July 11, 2014

A cat??? Has my heart??

I should probably be ashamed of myself
for admitting this but, one of the best thing
that has come from separation is to be gone 
of the dogs….
I did love them, I am sure in some way,
but they tied me down and I resented that.
They were never trained in the way they should
so they were more work than fun.
A few weeks ago, I called Baby boy to talk
me out of getting a new dog.
"Dude, don't get a dog, you hated those dogs,
all you ever did was complain about them
and you hated that you couldn't go where you wanted…"
Well I surely called the right one.
Ronnie has always loved the dogs more than I
so it was a no-brainer that he would take them
both… and baby boy, well, he was right.
So nice to leave with no worries about them.
Which brings me to this post.
Gypsy baby's sweet cat, Knox.
I have never been an animal lover as the rest of 
the family. Even when the babies were young, I allowed
pets because I think all children should have pets to 
learn to care for, but I didn't like it. I hated fur in 
my house. Knox, well the first few weeks Gypsy baby
brought her here, I didn't see her. She probably knew
how I felt so stayed away. Yet, time has passed and
Gypsy is always working which has left myself and Knox 
alone much. She has me feel sorry for her.
I don't know why but she is stealing my heart because, like
right now, she comes to sit on the opposite side of the sofa from me
asking nothing, just laying, sleeping but not needy.
So, in her way of not being needy, she has me wanting to 
show her affection. I reach over and pet her and she purrs
but still does not beg for more. Poor little knox,
I know probably one of the luckiest cats in the world
but still has my heart feeling like she is lonely.
I may complain about cats but I know when gypsy moves 
on I will miss the time with Knox.

Monday, July 7, 2014

I will achieve this, Thanks Mona!!!!

Times, they are a changing….
Yesterday I read this from a Facebook  and I was like,
I so want this for myself….. i will achieve it.
Thanks, Mona!!!
Tell yourself, “I am ENOUGH.” Accept your flaws. Admit your mistakes.
 Don’t hide and don’t lie. Deal with the truth,
 learn the lessons, endure the consequences of reality, and move on. 
Your truth won’t penalize you. The mistakes won’t hurt you. 
The denial and cover-up will. Flawed and vulnerable people are beautiful and likable.
 Liars and phonies are not. Every beautiful human being is made entirely of flaws,
 stitched together 
with good intentions and finished with unique edges.

You are YOU for a reason. Ignore the distractions. Listen to your own inner voice.
 Mind your own business. 
Keep your best wishes and your biggest goals close to your heart 
and dedicate time to them every day. Don’t be scared to 
walk alone, and don’t be scared to enjoy it. 
Don’t let anyone’s ignorance, drama, or negativity derail you from your truth.

Sunday, July 6, 2014


Daily I go back and forth whether
or not to continue this blog. Most days I know
it is cathartic for me, healing but then there are
the days like yesterday that I just don't think I can
continue it. Too many changes in my life and just
when I think I have a hold on one part, something new
is brought to my attention. After a very long and rough
night last night, I have come to the realization that in
some form, I am going to continue.
I have decided not to go into the "dirty laundry"
but to start today to only be positive ahead.
I have told myself this before and fallen.
I fell again yesterday.
Allowing myself to have buttons pushed to 
bring out the worst in me. I do not like 
myself when I am like this and somehow, I have
to find my way. So this morning, what I will say
is I will stand by what I want out of this world right now.
I want the father of my children sober.
It is all. I know we are done, I have accepted that
but I will never accept my children not having some
form of relationship with him.
Again, I am human, I fall. 
But today, he is sober and I need to support that.
So today, this is not anything but this, 
a promise to myself.
I will cause no more chaos in my life.
I will support sobriety and nothing else.
and as I have said before….
Thanks to all who have reached out to any
and all of us. Much appreciated.

These two deserve the very best Mumsie she can be.
I promise them both, today is a new day….