Sunday, July 6, 2014


Daily I go back and forth whether
or not to continue this blog. Most days I know
it is cathartic for me, healing but then there are
the days like yesterday that I just don't think I can
continue it. Too many changes in my life and just
when I think I have a hold on one part, something new
is brought to my attention. After a very long and rough
night last night, I have come to the realization that in
some form, I am going to continue.
I have decided not to go into the "dirty laundry"
but to start today to only be positive ahead.
I have told myself this before and fallen.
I fell again yesterday.
Allowing myself to have buttons pushed to 
bring out the worst in me. I do not like 
myself when I am like this and somehow, I have
to find my way. So this morning, what I will say
is I will stand by what I want out of this world right now.
I want the father of my children sober.
It is all. I know we are done, I have accepted that
but I will never accept my children not having some
form of relationship with him.
Again, I am human, I fall. 
But today, he is sober and I need to support that.
So today, this is not anything but this, 
a promise to myself.
I will cause no more chaos in my life.
I will support sobriety and nothing else.
and as I have said before….
Thanks to all who have reached out to any
and all of us. Much appreciated.

These two deserve the very best Mumsie she can be.
I promise them both, today is a new day….

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