STILL NOT SURE...

Daily I go back and forth whether

or not to continue this blog. Most days I know

it is cathartic for me, healing but then there are

the days like yesterday that I just don't think I can

continue it. Too many changes in my life and just

when I think I have a hold on one part, something new

is brought to my attention. After a very long and rough

night last night, I have come to the realization that in

some form, I am going to continue.

I have decided not to go into the "dirty laundry"

but to start today to only be positive ahead.

I have told myself this before and fallen.

I fell again yesterday.

Allowing myself to have buttons pushed to 

bring out the worst in me. I do not like 

myself when I am like this and somehow, I have

to find my way. So this morning, what I will say

is I will stand by what I want out of this world right now.

I want the father of my children sober.

It is all. I know we are done, I have accepted that

but I will never accept my children not having some

form of relationship with him.

Again, I am human, I fall. 

But today, he is sober and I need to support that.

So today, this is not anything but this, 

a promise to myself.

I will cause no more chaos in my life.

I will support sobriety and nothing else.

and as I have said before….

I WILL BE WELL.

Thanks to all who have reached out to any

and all of us. Much appreciated.

These two deserve the very best Mumsie she can be.

I promise them both, today is a new day….