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Monday, June 25, 2012

Engagement ring part 2

Yes, I am still having trouble getting over the fact that my
engagement ring is gone.
When I begin thinking about it I can't stop.
Almost to the point of obsession.
When I speak to someone about it's loss
I almost always tear up.
I wonder where it is at, where it lives,
was it lost, in some garbage dump or
was it stolen by the movers and hocked
for money. It aggravates me that I will never know.
St. Anthony has been prayed to,
yes, I even tried that...
I have resigned to the fact that I will never have it.
In my heart, I really think it was stolen.
I left the movers here alone one at a time 
when driving them to the hardware store for 
the screws they lost... another long story.
Maybe I shouldn't think like that but
I took such good care of the jewelry box,
packed it myself, it only rode in my car to the
new house and it is the only thing missing,
the only thing missing....
I search ebay at least weekly under vintage engagement rings
hoping to find something similar to the one I had,
knowing that this will never be good enough any way.
HOBL just doesn't understand the loss.
Says things like I should have taken better care of it,
it's lost, you have to get over it.
Or that he can't believe that I want another ring after all we just bought.
He doesn't mean to be insensitive, he just doesn't understand
what the ring meant and just buying another just won't do.
That ring stood for all we have been through, gotten past
in the last 28 years.
It's funny because every man, when they find out, think
it is not a big deal.
Yet every woman I speak of it with are sad for me,
brought to tears in the eyes of many.
Women "get this"
I have been in the past a terrible nail biter.
I finally had kicked that habit about 9 years ago and was so proud
because my wedding ring and engagement ring,
when I wore it, looked so much prettier on my hand with my
pretty nails. I, since loosing the ring, have gotten back to biting
my nails... I hate that but the habit is back.
As of yesterday my mind is obsessed with a new idea.
To find a good picture of the ring and try and have it remade.
I believe that only that will make me feel better.
Today I will go through my wedding pictures for the best picture.
I am going to talk to Tom Birdsall, jeweler about designing me
the same ring. 
Enough, I know, but you men out there,
that ring you gave your wife, you have to know
means more to her than you will ever understand.
It is cherished even though she may not mention it.
Even if she is like me and does not wear it every day,
it is as important to her as the vows she said on her wedding day.
It symbolizes all you are to her, all the hard times and the best times.
It reminds her of all the things that were said in confidence
that if a ring could talk, would know.
It reminds her of that day those vows were said and the days
your babies were born. 
It is not just diamonds and gold but a life that began 
the day you gave it to her, the day you asked her to marry her.
A symbol of all the reason she stays in the marriage.
Another ring just would not do.
It is not a matter of money or needing a ring to feel like you are married.
It is the symbol of the life that was established on the day you two became one.
For us, it was established on
March 9, 1984.

4 comments:

  1. Lil, I am really sorry. It is like part of you is missing. I totally understand. The diamond of my ring fell out and is gone. Men just don't get that it's not about the money. It's about what the original ring symbolizes. I am glad to still have part of my ring but it's the part that he had especially made for me that is gone. Thank God we still have a stong marriage!

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  2. Get HOBL and Gypsy to pray to St Anthony and you'll find it.

    :)

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  3. I would have called the moving company and ask if the movers saw it or something to that effect. Maybe the boss could ask around and if it was the movers they would know you knew they took it. Just a thought :)

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  4. Thanks, Dolly I thought about that but knowing these movers... aint going to care.... we had some trouble with them.

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