Sunday, June 24, 2012

What is the soul?

(My Nannie and I on my communion day)
Even before these last two weeks that brought the death
of my Nannie and Mr. Charles,
I had been thinking a lot about death.
It had not been an obsession but every once in a while,
when alone with my thoughts, 
it was death that I thought about.
I have never before been afraid of death.
I think it has something to do with being a little 5 year old girl
who faced death, believed she used to really talk to the Big Man
and He told her she wouldn't die yet.
Yes, it sounds weird, but back then,
as a little girl, me and the Big Man were tight.
Since that time I have never been afraid of that aspect of death.
Yet, lately I had found myself wondering.
I would get periods of thinking about it and wanting
to cry with the thought of dying and leaving my family.
Leaving the visible things that I know, for a fact, are true.
This morning I wake up early to watch OWN channel
to see Oprah's soul series.
this morning one of my favorites are on.
Oprah asks him,
"What happens when we die?"
He answers without a doubt:
"We return home."
and he goes into detail about this, which I believe
in fully, the soul.
He explains we will all experience our soul when our
personality dies. That when we go home we will experience
all the things that we did in this life were important and
we will see all we did on Earth and how it impacted 
our and others life on Earth.
"What is the soul?"
Oprah then asks.
"It is the part of us that existed before us
and will exist long after we are gone, forever."
I choose to believe all of this, as it gives me comfort.
The thought of nothing after, of being buried and then nothing,
scares me. I cannot live a life believing this.
No one should as it is so sad, so lonely.
Some may say, it all just doesn't make sense,
how can you believe in something that cannot be proven?
I say,
"I rather spend my whole life believing and die to find
out I was wrong than to live not believing to find
out it was all true"
I know I have a soul. I know it is bigger than me and
my personality. I know it leads me sometimes in a way
that doesn't make sense at the time and days or sometimes
years later, it all makes sense.
To know that when I die, all those things will be revealed to me
is comfort. To know that no matter where I go in this life or
the life after, My soul will not change and will follow me everywhere.
It is as real to me as the breath I take.
Happy Soul Sunday!


  1. Yes - and we will be reunited with those we love who have passed before us!

  2. Lilly, After seeing the pictures of your Nanny I knew her. I used to bowl with her back in the day when there was a bowling alley dtb. Very sweet lady.

  3. Dolly, she traveled the United States with her bowling teams! She was my daddy's sister.