Monday, June 17, 2013

Fathers Day

 The Circle of Life...
the circle of life...
My sisters and I spent the whole weekend laughing,
writing, sharing, reminiscing.
We spoke of how each of us are coping with the
loss of Mommy and because of this, there was much talk
of our Daddy also.
We spoke of how, because there was a whole generation
between our age differences that we had different parents.
The older kids remember a stricter but more fun loving parents
whereas us younger ones remembered stay home parents
who catered to us little ones.
It was perfect timing this father's day.
Dad died in 1983 so we have grieved his death a long
time ago. Then Mom dies and you realize that
both parents are gone and the loss of Dad is front and
center once again. Our memories shared
were good ones, our time together perfect.
 So, on this Father's Day let me focus on the three most
important fathers in my life.
My very own Daddy, Freddie.
A man that had so much talent whether it was from 
behind a camera, carving miniature wildlife,
making homemade cast nets or painting.
A talented man who loved his little girls.
As I got older and he got sicker, he many times
was harsh and agitated with others but to his girls
he tried to show us how much we were loved.
I especially remember our special breakfasts he made us.
It was not enough that he made us a homemade breakfast
every morning but made our homemade biscuits  like
cigars per our request. Nontraditional for the times,
Mom worked, Dad stayed home.
I adored that man, always wanted his happiness to be
because of me. He made each of us feel like his favorite one.
He died when I was 20. With him went a part of me.
Yet it was easier to grieve his loss, because we still
had our Mommy and I was much younger. I had lots
to look forward to in my future.
Today I respect him by allowing many memories to 
flood my weekend of him and they were good.
The second father I blog of is the HOBL.
I do understand he is not my daddy but he is the father
of my very own, he's my "baby Daddy".
No, he is not my father but we will forever be linked by
the beautiful children we created.
Again I will say, thank you to you HOBL for always
providing an income big enough that allowed me
to work minimal time so that I could be with them during
all those wonderful milestones.
My time at home may have
sometimes looked like I was unappreciative for his hard
work but I understood that was a gift that not many women
were not blessed with.
In today's world it is hard to survive on one salary.
We sometimes did without, sometimes HOBL missed
things as he would work extra jobs on his times off
so I could be home, so he could get those extra                                                                                        
things for kiddies that did not fit into the only
categories we are obliged to give,
Food, love and                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        a roof over their heads but he
has provided more than that.
I thank him for that. It has not been an easy year but 
no matter what happens in this crazy thing we call life,
I thank him for this. It has not gone unnoticed
or unappreciated.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          
 Last but not least, my very own baby boy,
Bean's daddy.
I watch him when he doesn't know I am watching him.
I see the way he speaks to his little girl, the way he explains
things to her. I watch how he brings her everywhere and
I see the cute things she teaches her and I am proud.
So proud that somehow in his growing up years
he learned how to parent, to give unconditional love.
I am so proud of him as my son but I 
am most full of happiness for Bean as she
has lucked out. She was born to Kd as her mother, and
BB as her Daddy so she hit the jackpot.
I beam with pride when I see bb with Bean.
There will be times i the life of Bean that
she will hurt her Daddy's feelings, have him worry,
make him feel like crying, but he will never loose sight
of the love he has for her now. No matter how old she
gets, I hope he pictures her as she is now and
he will always be able to deal with her through the
teenage years. I love this BB
" and forever, my baby you'll be"

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