THE WAYS OF MY GOD

This weekend I was asked to be a guest speaker

at a 10th grade retreat.

I spent the whole day with them

and towards the end of the day I shared my

life story with them, all the miracles,

all the tragedies, etc.

Some of these teens cried while I read from

my journal about the day I believed I

would loose my son to drug addiction.

However, my message to them was clear.

I needed to let them know that focusing on this

one day was not my reason for being there.

I did not want them to think I was a bitter Mom

for even then I believed in my God

and even though I lost my baby through this,

I would not be bitter because I knew He would

help me to see the reasons for all of this.

So the end of my talk was this:

"... I HAD EVERY REASON TO BE BITTER

THROUGH THIS WHOLE PROCESS AND THERE

WERE DAYS I DID FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF AND

MY FAMILY, I AM HUMAN

HOWEVER, I NEVER LOST FAITH THAT NO MATTER HOW

IT ENDED I WOULD BE OKAY.

NOW MY WHOLE BELIEVE, THE WAY I THANK GOD

EVERY DAY FOR MY FORTUNES IS BY

REALIZING THAT MY WHOLE LIFE,

EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED WAS

BECAUSE GOD KNEW THE END RESULT.

IT WAS NEVER ABOUT ME, OR RONNIE

AND HIS DRUG ADDICTION,

IT WAS ALWAYS ABOUT WHAT GOD ALREADY KNEW.

GOD KNEW THAT I WOULD GROW UP AND HE

WOULD BLESS ME WITH TWO WONDERFUL CHILDREN.

HE KNEW THAT ONE OF THESE CHILDREN WOULD

SUFFER FROM THE DISEASE OF DRUG ADDICTION.

RONNIE'S STRUGGLES WERE NEVER ABOUT US,

IT WAS ABOUT GOD KNOWING THAT THIS CHILD

WAS COMING AND GROWING UP WITH THE

SAME DISEASE AND HE HAD TO GIVE

US THE TOOLS NECESSARY TO SAVE HIS

SON, YES HIS SON.

HE GAVE US EVERYTHING WE NEEDED TO SAVE

THIS CHILD, WE USED THE TOOLS GIVEN,

AND IT WAS GOD'S WILL TO HAVE HIM BE

THE MAN HE IS TODAY,

THE MOST CARING AND HONEST YOUNG MAN

I KNOW, WHO IS SOBER AND WILL HELP

MANY IN THIS WORLD WHO SUFFER

FROM THE SAME DISEASE.

GOD ALWAYS HAD HIS HAND IN OUR LIVES.

Then my God expected me to share this story with

others because I, too have a part in all of this.

My pain, my hope must be shared with others

or it was all for nothing.

If asked, I never say no to share my story of hope.

I thank the BIG MAN every day for the

joys he helps me see, even when it

is hard to see it his way.