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Wednesday, December 23, 2009

when God speaks, you best listen

Have I ever told you that God speaks to me?
Have I ever told you that there are three ways that he does it?
Well, here is my secret.
1) He talks to me while I am reading:
He will put something in print somewhere for me
to read and I know automatically it is from him.
2) He talks to me when I am trying to sleep or just waking up.
He knows my famous words that if something keeps
me up at night, something will be fixed.
3) He talks to me when I am brushing my teeth.
Yep, you heard it right, just when my mouth foams up
with all those bubbles a thought will pop up in my
head and it is clear and precise and I know just what has to happen.
He knows that is the only three times I ever shut up long enough
to hear.
So be with me here as I explain to myself what exactly
my Big Man is saying to me.
You see he knows my heart and thoughts.
He knows that the news I recieved here although
informative and very helpful is not the exact news I wanted.
He loves me but already knew how this would turn out
so he is not surprised by my disappointment.
However he also knows this about me,
that I listen to his messages and I will pick up the pieces
to use this in some type of positive manner.
Right after Ron and I got back from the doctor
I needed some "me" time.
I went into town and walked these little shops,
giving myself some time to absorb the news and
understand what this means for my future.
There I see the most beautiful, unusual piece of
graphic art and I think baby girl would love this.
I then read what it says:
"FAITH IS BELIEVING THAT YOU WILL BE GIVEN EITHER
SOLID GROUND TO STAND ON OR WINGS TO FLY"
Wow, how powerful is that just when I need to see it?
Yes, my God is telling me that I must have faith in him.
Faith is about believing in things you cannot see.
I cannot see the future but He can and he
is giving me this most powerful message,
I say to myself, "Thank you, God"
because I know right away this is him talking to me.
However the power of humaness comes back and forth
in our lives and yesterday while laying in an MRI
bubble for two hours with loud sounds coming through
my nifty orange ear plugs I begin to get scared again
of just what the future will be like.
This is all unusual for me, I am not one to focus on fears
and negativity but I realize while in this bubble that
I have allowed this issue to control my life for too long.
I have to find a way to take control once again of my life.
I get back to the hotel and a hot bath and a good fiction book
is what I want so I go there,
and there in this fiction book that has nothing to do with
anything in my life are these words:
"YOU KNOW THEY DID A STUDY OF PEOPLE
WHO BECAME PARAPLEGICS...AND FOUND THAT
JUST A FEW YEARS AFTER THEIR ACCIDENTS THEY
WERE BACK TO THEIR ORIGINAL SELVES.
IF THEY WERE HAPPY PEOPLE BEFORE THEY LOST
THEIR ABILITY TO WALK, THEY EVENTUALLY BECAME
HAPPY PEOPLE AGAIN. IF THEY WERE DEPRESSED BEFORE,
THEY WENT BACK TO THE SAME LEVEL OF DEPRESSION.
WE CAN'T ESCAPE OUR NATURE. WE ARE WHO WE ARE."
julie buxbaum, author
Okay got that God, loud and clear.
I swear to you, I don't make these things up,
it is exactly the way he communicates with me.
So Big Man is telling me I will be okay no matter what.
No matter whether I have pain everyday, no matter if I do
land up crippled in some way, I have always been a happy
and positivie person before and after acceptance of this
issue I will be again.
He promises that. If I do what it is I need to do,
he promises that.
So as I get out the tub firm decisions are being made in my head.
I will seek out a counselor who specializes in what I need
and I will do whatever it takes to be happy.
I will begin physical therapy like suggested here at Vanderbilt
and I will follow through on all they tell me to do.
I will wait for the recommendations of the chronic pain doctor
here and then follow up with my own Dr. Ponder
in Gray and be my own advocate to tell him what I need
and it doesn't consist of shooting me up with steroids in
my back that hasn't seemed to help in the past.
I will do what they told me to do about loosing 10 pounds
(yes, they agreed with me that I need to loose 10 pounds
and the less weight I have on my back the easier it will be:)
I will put some form of exercise back into my life no matter
whether or not it causes pain.
I will begin to eat healthy again and take control of my body.
Yep, Old aunt lil is listening dear God.
... and after all of these deep thoughts I awaken this morning
with a peace I have not felt for some time.
And two thoughts are in my head from God:
"BE STILL AND KNOW I AM HERE "
and
"THAT WHICH DOESN'T KILL YOU WILL ONLY MAKE YOU STRONGER"
So do you want to join my journey?
Make 2010 the year that you be happy, no matter what.
Make 2010 the year that you begin to eat healthy and exercise.
Make 2010 the year that you take control of your life if you have lost it.
2010, what a bright year!
Love and big wet smooches to all!!!!!


4 comments:

  1. You know Lil, God talks to me in the same ways!!!! It's funny when you put it on paper, but it's true!!!

    I can also do the 2010 list, but I must find out what makes me happy!!! lololol....besides spending time with my Tedi!!! lol.... we shall see!!!

    Another gift I'm giving Tedi is a gym membersihip, (I have 6 months on hold) so she and I can go together!!!!

    Can't wait to see ya'll on Christmas!!!!!

    Love and kisses,
    Tiff

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  2. While you're conversing with our Lord Savior... find out who stole my fire bowl.... I'm pretty darned paturbed about it! Oh and I'm glad you're beginning with your mind so the rest will follow.... don't worry about a thing, I'll push your butt around.

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  3. I am on your team Aunt Lil!!! I too will begin a new and hopefully I have found what makes me happy! Merry Christmas to you all!

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  4. ya know God is good!!! I am just learning when HE speaks to me and after reading this guys i no longer feel like i am losing my mind!!!! ha! their are few times i am quiet too aunt lil! ha thanks guys this was a lesson for me!! love you and have a good new year!!!!

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