We, today begin month 2 of a 12 month journey.
I cannot lie, although I read Simple Abundance
every day, I sometimes wish I would not have
started the challenge and blogging on the topic.
Just last night I was discussing with BFOB and Beck
that I feel sometimes with the blog I have said all
I have to say.
Then Hughbee, who never really reads the blog says
to me, "you have to write it, It's cool for me to tell
people my aunt writes a blog"
Well, of course that get me going again.
I realized last night that part of the reason I write
the blog is to leave a part of my legacy behind.
Then today I read SA and feel an urge to blog.
THE GIFT OF TIME
I have to begin to see my time alone,
that I have always loved, by the way
has maybe not been used to its full potential.
On a day like today when my body feels
the cold front coming in I awaken just a little
sad for the fact that today will once again be
spent in the house. It is not what I had planned to do.
My plans were to go to BB's house and hang out
with him and KD to just look and admire
all the baby things and talk of baby days coming soon.
I was then going to go and sit with the Taunt Mone
and just make the "vey-yay" with her.
Yet today the lead comes from the body and the body
says, "HOME"
This frustrates me before I sit to read SA
because I feel like I do not always have control of
where my life is taking me.
Peace comes on the SA path.
I see today, that I will have to come to terms with
the quietness of a day alone.
There were days that when raising babies
I longed for hours of time alone.
Now I am faced with long period of days sometimes.
I have always enjoyed the company of myself
and never had a problem with shopping, eating out
or movies alone, yet this home stuff
is not what I am wanting right now.
SA reminds me that I will have to work on this.
I will have to come to allow myself days
of doing nothing but exploring who I am in
the quiet of myself.
Today I will pick up an old hobby of cross-stitching
I will allow myself to watch a movie at home
without feeling guilty for all the chores
that could be done over here.
Maybe this will allow me to
develop a new relationship with my authentic self.
I always said, screw SA... we can read it for ourselves. You're going to wear yourself out re-writing a book that was written. Maybe you should become a telemarketer.... you get everything you ever wanted.... a job, stay at home in your pj's, communicate with others daily, make new friends ... bug David Vitter... what more could you want? Here's my version of you as a telemarketer ... "Hello" -- Hi I'm Lilly, would you care to hear about the special deal we can make you on this super d dooper cool scrap book magazine --- "Uhh no, I'm a 75 year old retired steel worker, why would I scrap-book" --- Well you know I once had an uncle that was 75 and he used to tell me all the time about steel... and you know I've got some steel in my back so maybe, just maybe you had something to do with that... isn't it amazing how two people who never met could possibly intertwine and make a difference in each other's life... that's my motto you know... making a difference, returning more than I received... "Really? I just lost my wife of 52 years and you remind me of her" -- wow, you know I always had a soft spot in my heart for couples who stay together for so long, I come from a big family and dedication to others is what we are always all about... when I was a little girl, fighting cancer, my whole family looked out for one and other ... "really, my wife died of cancer and none of my children ever took care of ..." You know my children are my life and they have given so much back to me and my hubby, it's unreal what I'd do ... "her" ... for those kids...I used to say all the time that when I got old, I wanted a house on a lake just so my kids could come visit us ... "you said a scrap book magazine?" ... yep.. a super d dooper one at that "put me down for 5 years..... or you'll never shut up"
ReplyDeletehahahaha they would hang up on me.... hmmmm maybe I could get one of those jobs for an insurance company that have nurses call to check up on patients, now that I would be good at....
ReplyDeleteoh yeah, and you probably right, sa has already been written...
ReplyDelete