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Friday, December 17, 2010

....AND SO TODAY, I BLOG...


THERE IS ONLY ONE REAL DEPRIVATION...
AND THAT IS NOT TO BE ABLE TO
GIVE ONE'S GIFTS TO THOSE ONE LOVES MOST.
-May Sarton_
So what have I been doing?
Puttering, I imagine.
Reading, healing, journaling, scrapping.
thinking.... thinking....thinking...
and today I blog.
I had been at crossroads.
Thinking a lot about my life and those I love.
Is sharing my life with so many a good thing?
I have decided that sometimes when my diarrhea of the mouth
takes over I may need to sometimes take a good dose of
Kaopectate. I do not want to become a person
who is looked at as someone who only cares or focuses
on herself, a narcissist....
because that is so far from who I am.
I have thought a lot about this.
Although I don't agree with the way this was brought
to my attention, I, like I always do, have to look at it.
I have come to believe that there is a time and place
that it is okay to speak of myself and there is a time
and place that I should take a step back.
I never want those two things to become clouded in my mind.
So I took a few days off to look at this.
I have come to this conclusion.
There is much I will not and cannot change of myself.
I cannot change the core of who I am.
I am happy, loud, talkative and like to have a good time.
I am a touchy-feely type of person and to change
those things about myself would have to be like
waking up one morning and not being Lilly.
If I am condemned for this because of embarrassment
of others so be it, I cannot change who I am meant to be.
Yet, there are times that I go on too much about myself.
Although in my mind, my intentions are clear,
in certain circumstances it may not look like that.
NARCISSISM-personality trait of egotism, vanity, conceit
or simple selfishness applied to a social group.
I do not want to become that.
So back to the topic.
What I have come to decide that when speaking on my
blog I can do and say as I please as long as I get permission
so as not to offend those who I blog about.
I thought of giving it up but I can't.
Because as my open quote says,
It would be a deprivation not to share my life with others.
I have learned that there is a time and place for everything
and here on my blog is the place that I can do that.
I have so much optimism, love, thoughts that I
cannot just bottle up. It is who I am,
part of why many love me, why I love myself.
So, in social situations, unless I am hired or invited
to do motivational speaking,
I will work hard not to give others the impression
that I care only of myself because that is not what I want.
I don't want the definition of narcissism labeled to my life.
My life, although a miracle in itself, has places it is to
be shared. On my blog is where I can do this.
It is a gift- the way of my words, to be given not to hoard.
Here people can choose to read or choose not to.
So the blog goes on, beginning today.
It may not be everyday
because if it is not to mean anything then it is just
hogwash.
(sorry Faye, there will be days you may have
to go to the bathroom before reading the blog)
I have a true gift of writing, of thoughts that must
be shared with the world. To keep these things
inside of myself would be to try and change the
core of what my life has taught me.
There is a time and place for everything.
Here is my space.
Good morning, sunshine....
Welcome back, auntie lil!



5 comments:

  1. Revisit your mission statement and stick to it. Don't we all have a little narcissim in us? Every morning, some of us have a habit of visiting this site during our morning routine and it has become entertaining. I personally love the fact I can add a little (or lot) of cynisim to balance out your optimism. Balance. Harmony. Think of me as your blog's metamucil. So, here's some advice. Get away from the self pity and get rolling on the everyday Lil'isms happening in the world. Have a nice day and don't worry about BG ... it's borderline exploitation.... Ga Ga tickets get you a lot

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  2. :) Welcome Back!! Missed your sweet words the past few days. May you never doubt yourself again my new friend.Your heavenly Father has blessed you with the "gift" of powerful, loving and encouraging words,meant to touch the hearts and souls of those who so look forward to your blog each day.It would surely be a sin for you to NOT share that!!By the way, our baby,due Jan 21st will arrive early...on Monday! A Christmas baby...could my heart be any happier? Please keep us all in your prayers.

    Merry Christmas...Becky M.

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  3. So glad you are back. I have missed my readings. Love Ya!

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  4. I say - say what you want to, how you want to, when you want to!!!! And to the critics - poo poo! Last time I checked, God was still in heaven!

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