Yesterday in an elevator.

Yesterday was my appointment with Dr. Donner.

I love him because he is always the optimist,

what I want and try to be.

He shows me my xrays and we talk about how awesome

it is that already I have lots of difference in

my daily pain.

He shows me on the xrays how the plate and screws

are in place and then he tells me he is just

a little discouraged because after 4 weeks

there is not yet any calcium build-up

between the discs which would tell us

that the fusion was beginning to do its job.

This is seen and all it basically means is

that 4 more weeks of wearing this brace I hate

and doing basically nothing.

You can't be discouraged when having an appointment

with Dr. D. he just tells you to keep doing what

you are doing, wear your brace religiously and

see you in 4 weeks.

So I leave and get in the elevator and for one

minute I am self-involved with knowing

for 4 more weeks my life has been laid out.

I guess I am just a little discouraged because

I am ready to move on in this life of mines,

ready to make this part of my past.

As I get in the elevator, this 60ish cleaning lady

allows me to get in first and she follows me in

looking like Carol Burnette with all her mops and brooms.

I am not my normal talkative self, hmmm that is unusual...

She however wants to talk.

She begins to chit chat and I am listening but not really

participating much.

The elevator door opens and she wishes me a wonderful

holiday season. I wish her the same and she thanks me

but says she has a feeling this one will not be

good for her. She leaves the elevator

and I press the button to hold the doors open.

"Why" I ask...

then she sadly tells me,

"Yes, my husband died two months ago and

I am so lonely and I know that this Christmas

is going to be very lonely"

So I put my big girl panties on and stop myself

from being so self-absorbed and I spend a

few minutes with this wonderful lonely

little housekeeper and I then count my blessings.

So what if I have to wear a stupid

Ninja turtle brace as the great nieces and nephews call it.

They think it's cool and there will be no lonely

Christmas for me.

There is so much out there in the world

to think about besides myself.

Let us not forget that if we think we have it rough,

There are many who have a much harder life than we do.